[Belated] Secret Santa Can Suck It: Selfish Santa

The best part of the countdown to the War on Christmas each year is, in my estimation, Secret Santa Can Suck It, organized by the Caretaker over at Shadow Manor. It’s a virtual gift swap which means that money is no object—one is only limited by one’s imagination. And possibly by how well one knows (or doesn’t know) the recipient.

This year I was super excited because I drew the Caretaker herself! (She had me one year and I got a Cthulhu makeover, eeeeee!) I immediately began scheming about what I was going to get her. Muahaha.

But I’m selfish because what I really want is to hang out with her! So, to start, she gets a trip to sunny Los Angeles!

She will stay in Chateau Marmont, an appropriately gothy little hotel. In a suite, of course, because while she’s there, she’s going to have a personal makeover by Rebecca Jane Stokes of the Hairpin. This is because the Caretaker, by her own admission, doesn’t “get invited to the sorts of parties where a ballgown and knitted armlets are appropriate”. Well.

What happens next is that she’s going to join me at the Edwardian Ball, where the Hairpin’s personalized ministrations will not only be appropriate but exactly what’s necessary.

The next day will dawn a little late, because the Ball is quite a shindig, so she’ll have a leisurely morning with High Tea at the Huntington in the afternoon. The Hairpin will have known this, so she will have an appropriately gothy tea outfit; hopefully with an obnoxiously large hat. And of course, since this is a selfish gift, I’ll be joining her.

I’m really disappointed that the gift I’m giving isn’t real.

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