Secret Santa (Can Suck It) to Inveigh

The inestimable Cobwebs of Shadow Manor (she and I have a teeny bit of a mutual admiration society going on) started a Santa Can Suck It virtual gift exchange last year. The concept is simple: pretend to give things to someone you’re secretly given as if you cared enough to spend the time/money to actually give such things.

…she explains it better.

She drew my name and I got an amazing Cthulhu makeover!! Go check out the tentacly awesome.

I have been assigned Inveigh of Discombobulated. From a quick perusing of his site, he appears to have participated in Movember…and had some difficulty adjusting to having a giant furry caterpillar living above his lip for a month. So I give him a selection of moustashy fun:

We shall start with a portable moustache protector which can latch onto any tea cup (or coffee mug) for his convenience. Silver, of course. Perhaps with some finagling, it can also be attached to a soup bowl for unladylike slurping. (Click this or any image to embiggen.)

As it is, however, no longer November (as it is known to we non-moustache-capable humans), I will include a Victorian shaving kit (it’s portable!). What I like most about this is that although it’s purpose is the removal of facial hair, it can just as easily be used for the removal of the heads of annoying people. Or, if you practice enough, of merely their faces. The brush, of course, can double as a finger print wiper-awayer. Of course, I’m sure Inveigh’s purposes and imagination are not so dark.

When he is moustache-free once again (or done doing whatever he has imagined to do with his scary razor and brush), he can relax with his favorite whiskey (does he like whiskey? perhaps brandy or, if he must, vodka) in these cups of moustachey awesome.

And, as [hairy] icing on the cake, I give him a week of hanging out with the moustache man himself, the man whose moustache all other moustaches want to be: Sam Elliot. They can bond over moustache maintenance-and-care, Inveigh can get tips from Mr. Elliot, Mr. Elliot can bask in the sheer awesome that Inveigh almost certainly is!

Happy Boxing day, Inveigh, from xJane! I hope you & your moustache enjoy your virtual gift!


  1. what an absolutely awesome idea!

    And xJane, may I just say, you are a brilliant gift giver. bless you.

    (btw, loved LOVED the cthulhu makeover you got. Cobwebs, I like you 🙂

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