I’m slowly training Facebook ads that anything in the category “weight loss”, “traditionally female jobs”, or “baby anything” is “offensive”. Confused, it has now been showing me only martial arts and legal-related stuff. So I guess this falls under “legal-related stuff”…or it’s figured out that I’m a sucker for “random jewelry”. Either way, Facebook ads sent me to this website. We The People Bracelet sells silver beads with various amendments engraved on them.

It’s a cute idea, really, especially for ACLU types or just plain law nerds. I can get a keychain, for example, with the 13th, 14th, and 15th amendments (abolition of slavery, citizenship clause, & the civil rights amendment). Or a necklace with the 19th & 26th: women’s & 18 year olds’ suffrage rights, respectively (this is totally up my alley and I might just do this for my niece). Or “Victory Cufflinks”—which have the 1st, 2nd, 9th, and 10th amendments…and this is where we start to get kinda rightwing. Freedom of religion, right to bear arms, states’ rights 1.0 and states’ rights 2.0. But, okay. It’s the only set of cufflinks available (for some reason, you can’t make your own…maybe that’s because men only love victory) but maybe they don’t mean anything by it.

Let’s see what else they hav… What the what‽ This is the “Bill of Rights Silver Cross“: a clear misunderstanding of separation of church and state; and, I would wager, an intentional one. There is a bead above the cross that says, “Bill of Rights”. Since it doesn’t say “Freedom of religion”, which might actually apply to this kind of a setting, all I can think of is religion + right to bear arms, religion + jury trial, religion + states’ rights, and so on. All unsettling thoughts, to my [liberal] mind.

Or you can get the “Bill of Rights Necklace” which, instead of having a cross, has a 2nd Amendment bead (or a different one of your choosing, but really, isn’t that the most important one? After the one that lets us impose our religion on everyone, of course). The unsettling settings continue. There’s the incorrectly-named “Constitution Bracelet” which has only the 1st, 2nd, and 10th amendments (rather than, say, the Constitution), the “Paul Revere Bracelet” which has seven nebulous beads (what is “Paul Revere” right-wing code for?), and of course, the all-important “Independence Bracelet” with just the 1st and 2nd (since bearing arms is what we fought for, not representation to tax authorities).

I’m rather unsettled (can you tell?) by this product. Not for the product itself, which I think is pretty damn awesome and I’d consider getting myself or friends some of the beads (and I hope they expand their collection) but because of the militant religious undertone of the product. Am I reading too much into this? Does it change your mind to know they’re sponsored by the Heritage Foundation, the Freedom Alliance, Americans for Prosperity, and WABC (a talk radio station that is home to such bastions of freedom and the Constitution as Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham, and, wait for it, Don Imus!)?

My first reaction to the site of “hey, awesome legal jewelry!” has turned into an uncomfortable sense of “I’m not the right kind of American for these people”. Which is unfortunate, because I’d love to display my love for the awesomeness of the 19th Amendment or 21st (accompanied, perhaps by the 18th!). I would imagine a number of activists would be interested in showing their love of the 24th. I wonder if the company plans to expand their available beads to the less-popular-in-conservative-circles amendments (although I’m impressed that the 19th, 13th, 14th, and 15th are included). I really want to think the best of the intentions of the artists, but their undertone of crazy clouds my ability to do so.