My best friend Chris, who got me into Mormonism (I forgive him), also got me into 80s heavy metal and 70s progressive rock. I remember sneaking out of Architectural Drafting class, heading over to Chris’ house and sitting in his bedroom, wearing my jean jacket and threadbare cons and listening to Black Sabbath, or Iron Maiden, or Pink Floyd, or Rush (another good thing from Canada).

One Rush song, “Mission” off the Hold Your Fire album, was an anthem of sorts throughout my 20s. I identified with the yearning to be like the great artists, writers, filmmakers, architects, musicians:

When I feel the powerful visions
Their fire has made alive
I wish I had that instinct-
I wish I had that drive

They possessed something–or rather, something possessed them–to create:

Spirits fly on dangerous missions
Imaginations on fire
Focused high on soaring ambitions
Consumed in a single desire

In the grip of a nameless possession-
A slave to the drive of obsession-
A spirit with a vision
Is a dream with a mission…

I listened to it over and over again, and I even printed the lyrics out and posted them above my desk, maybe in the hope that if I listened to them often enough, that I, too, would be possessed.

The song came up randomly during my ride today. And for the first time, I felt like I was one of the ones they were singing about, rather than one of the ones doing the singing. I am possessed, obsessed, and consumed. I have finally caught the flame. Maybe I’ve been at my dreams long enough that I held “the flame till the dream ignites.”

I’m ready to burn brightly, and to spend myself in creation. I’m willing to pay the price. I’ve begun to pay it, as I get ready to separate myself for six weeks from family, friends and to immerse myself in my vision of becoming a successful writer:

We each pay a fabulous price
For our visions of paradise
But a spirit with a vision
Is a dream with a mission…