However, I’ve found I just have no desire or need to have that sort of religions/congregational/spiritual experience anymore. I’m very happy being an atheist, and get my needs for social interaction met quite well in other ways.

Furthermore, I like being able to sleep off my Sunday-morning hangovers.

This past Sunday, during Meeting, I was thinking about how my brief but powerful experiences at Quaker meeting align with the parts of Mormonism I liked from my upbringing – that my relationship with God was my own and that I was entitled to personal revelation, that all people have divinity potential within them.

The stillness I experience in Meeting is the sort I envisioned when, as a little girl, I was taught to listen to the Still Small Voice. I never heard that stillness when distracted with the messages about my sinfulness and my indignation about my “role” as a female. Decades later, I found stillness within myself. And now, years later, I am finding a place to share that Stillness with others.

Growing up my Mom used to take us to the local Friends Church on Mother’s Day, and sometimes Easter and Father’s Day. Never a big fan of the LDS style of celebrating Mothers, I grew up having witnessed true celebrations of parenthood in one place, and role polarization in another. With the Friends I loved that we were always embraced and welcomed – and that I didn’t have to wear a dress. I made wonderful friends who have stayed near me through life.

I am sure to some the whole “dress” issue is a non-issue. But to me that whole attire part of Mormonism stands to separate men from women, and class from class. We’re taught to love one another and welcome one another, but, perhaps especially with women, you are judged on what you wear and how nicely your children look. It has always been difficult for me to reconcile that social aspect with the spiritual.

I’ve had some interest in the Quaker, uh. Faith? Religion? Philosophy? Ideology? (Same questions I have about Buddhism.) I should have attended a Meeting when I had the chance, back in SLC. There are no Quaker groups here, that I’ve found. I’ve picked up some books at the library by Quaker authors or about Quakers, and I definitely like what I read – but at the same time, I tend to shy away from anything that claims Christian roots. I assume that bitterness will dissipate over time, but for now, it’s there.

There are several elements here that are foreign to me in coming from you, John, because I’ve only read you for maybe the past 2 1/2 years and you’ve evolved beyond this point. For example, you mentioned “the Spirit” several times – and that “Mormonism is family” was a bit jarring.