“On The Pier” (taken on 9/11/01) is Creative Commons licensed by *Hiro.
July 2nd, 2001 is Mind on Fire’s birthday. The birthing process was painful, since I hand-coded the site and put much more effort into the design and scripty goodness than I do now. Here’s kind of what it looked like on July 23rd and September 17th (it doesn’t work now, but the picture in the upper left showed different pictures of victims of 9/11 on each visit). Most of the comments from that period were lost in one of my migrations to another blogging platform, unfortunately.
My first post was called ‘Sincerity.’ I think that’s been the guiding value of this blog since then.
I rarely dig into my blog archives, but I was trying to remember how I reacted to attacks of September 11th of the same year. Here’s what I wrote on that day, at 7:10am PST:
just heard about the attack on the world trade center. i feel equal parts numb and sick to my stomach. fear and anger will spread across the u.s. and the world, and many in this world are already, both openly and in secret, rejoicing. the cycle of violence will escalate, and the terrorists will have won.
i will do my best to resist the fear and the hate::
In the next morning’s post, I expand on this desire to battle fear and I outline some of my actions:
terrorism’s number one goal is to instill fear…fear leaves us paralyzed. fear closed down our airports, wall street, the federal government, and countless state and local governments, businesses, schools, and amusement parks.
if we let fear conquer us, then the terrorists have won.
…
4. i will not allow fear to dictate my actions. there is no such thing as security. death can take us in the guise of an earthquake, cancer, a drunk driver, a crazed gunman at any moment. death is one of the great certainties of life.
Fighting fear is a recurring theme in my life. As I write and remember, I’m realizing that the conquest of fear is one of my core values. I’m a coward, but I try not to be.
- This desire influences my relationships: I don’t want to limit my children’s potential because of fear of harm coming to them, I don’t want to miss out on the opportunity of meeting new people because I’m afraid of embarrassment, and I don’t want to act against my conscience because of fear of judgment
- This desire influences my view of religion: I live in a pretty bleak universe. It’s tempting to escape to the comforting security of myths of eternal life and ultimate justice.
- This desire influences my politics: I don’t want to encourage policies based on fear of immigrants, fear of people who worship Allah, false fears of government bureaucrats on death panels.
It’s good to remember how terrified I was–how scared we all were–in the aftermath of the multiple attacks of 9/11/01. It’s sobering to think of how this national fear was transformed into anger and then manipulated to serve ends and interests that had little to do with seeking justice against those who perpetrated these horrible crimes.
The war on terror isn’t fought with weapons and soldiers. It’s fought in our own hearts.
Today, I recommit to fight fear. I will not let the terrorists–the obvious ones that carry bombs, the bombastic ones on talk radio, the subtle ones that whisper uncertainty into our ears whenever we embark on new personal endeavors–I will not let them win.
