Jana and I had a great anniversary weekend. Thank you, everyone, for your well-wishes. We had dinner at her favorite Mexican restaurant, fit in a Saturday afternoon beer and cheese tasting (serendipitously running into @clankyrobot and friends), lost a couple of hours in what may be the OC’s last great used bookseller (The Bookman in Orange), watched Truffaut’s Stolen Kisses, learned how to do a wet exit from a capsized kayak, and rescue a partner’s kayak, chatted with the designer/manager (owner?) of Lola Gaspar, a quirky-trendy tapas bar with goth-inspired decore, and still managed to spend some quality time together in our little boutique hotel (during breakfast, we slowly realized that the authenticity of the library façade of the bar was achieved by destroying and lacquering the spines–and other bits–of an actual collection of old books).
The kiddos had a great time with friends who kindly took them in for the weekend. As soon as Jana and I got home, CatGirl went back out to eat lunch with her friends, and GameBoy said, “When I realized I had to leave, I was kind of disappointed,” which is his characteristically low-key way of saying, “I had a blast!”
This is what awaited us at home:
The text reads:
Dear Brother Remy,
The stake presidency is considering formal disciplinary action in your behalf, including the possibility of disfellowshipment and excommunication, because you are reported to have been in apostasy.
You are invited to attend this disciplinary council meeting to give your response and, if you wish, to provide witnesses who are members of the Church or other evidence in your behalf.
The disciplinary council will be held on Wednesday, September 9th, 2009, in the stake high council room at 7pm.
It is signed by the local stake president.
I guess every silver cloud needs some dark lining. I’m not a big fan of drama, and it is disheartening to have drama politely thrust upon us after such a pleasant weekend. My choice of response won’t help much either. I do plan to attend the council meeting, and I plan to document the experience.
My present feelings: it’s been months since I last heard from local LDS leadership, and I sincerely hoped that they had letter the matter drop. I’m not looking for a confrontation. I have generally avoided writing about the Mormon Church for the past few months. I have plenty enough stress as an employee of a California institution in unprecedented budgetary crisis. I am in the process of ramping up my commitment to my creative writing efforts. Jana and the kids are getting ready to dive into the new school year.
I don’t particularly value my membership in the Church. In fact, I feel that it is acting quite predictably, perhaps even rationally. However, Jana and some of our Mormon friends are perplexed and hurt by the possibility that the Church may choose to take disciplinary action against me. As I enter into this week, this is my greatest source of anxiety. I don’t like thinking that my choices are partly responsible for pain caused to others (I don’t deny that the local Stake leadership is also responsible here).
That said, I feel compelled to document all of this, because I’m a writer, and I do believe in transparency. I also feel strongly that I’m part of a community of marginalized former believers. I feel less isolated because of my many blogging friends who left
I suspect that the next week or two may be emotionally trying, and my attention will be divided a number of ways. I’m not looking forward to engaging in time-consuming and emotionally-draining discussion on the blog. With this in mind, I’m turning comment-moderation back on for a while (this shouldn’t impact you too much if you’re a regular commenter). While I’m generally interested in debate, I don’t have the energy to defend my position and my choices in long discussion threads at this time. When things have settled down, I may feel ready to come back to explore this. In the meantime, thank you for your understanding and patience.