It was a hard, long weekend (and when I came home, I got the flu) filled with reminders of all the things I didn’t like about him—mostly his religious and political views—but there were some good memories, too.

There’s a Reba McEntire song in which she says, “I guess the world ain’t gonna stop for my broken heart,” that came to mind as our funeral train wound its way from one end of Seattle to the other. The world didn’t stop for my grief, but half the city did (which some noted, would have made Dad happy), and that was something.

It also underscores the fact that I will not be able to read this, as I had hoped I might, after reading your responses to it. I am not looking forward to an evening of ego-stroking for a man who needed no encouragement in that direction and isn’t even around anymore to be sucked up to.

Be that as it may, that was beautiful. I like the idea of a speaking rather than a fawning eulogy, and it was kind of what I had in mind when I planned my mother’s services.

My father also had flaws; they were different from your father’s, but flaws all the same. But he was a good man, and he loved me and I loved him and I miss him today about as much as I did right after he died in 1977. Even this weekend, while I was attending Baycon, there were so many things I saw and heard there that I wished I could share with him.

Because, yeah, he was a geek too…a pocket protector and a slide-rule were part of his work tools, and he is the one who instilled in me a love of all things science fiction.

I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again: I’m sorry for your loss, xJane, and I’m thinking of you and your family as you deal with the big stuff and the little stuff.

That said, I don’t have much to add. I love that you acknowledge your father’s complexity and that you share your unique and personal connections to him, and I empathize with your loss.

I hope you do get to read it. You’re his daughter; you have every right to grieve in your way, and you might speak for as many people as you might offend.

I like the theme of many of the comments here, that relationships are not all good all the time and that this makes them real. People and their relationships are complex and denying this is the real tragedy.

Anyway, my thoughts are with you. Thank you for sharing with us.

I hate the though of losing my parents. They are both still young enough that I exist in that naive state of subconsciously beliving they will be around forever.

Thanks for this beautiful remembrance.

I also dislike fawning eulogies. If more were like this, I think it would be a more meaningful experience for all.