I can’t remember when I first wanted to get a tattoo, but it was sometime in high school. I wanted a yin yang on my ankle. In college, I finally got it, but at the last moment, I changed its placement to my lower back. It was amazing. It was transcendent. It was painful. It was crooked.
I love my tattoo, which is at my hara, a placement that means something to me in terms of focusing energy as well as balance. I love its imperfection, though it took me a bit to get there. I don’t like that it’s so hidden from me. I didn’t get it so that others would see it, I got it so that I would know it was there—a commitment to balance, an acknowledgement of imbalance. But ever since I got it, I have wanted another.
I once read somewhere that, if you think you want a tattoo, wait five years. If you still want it, then you really want it. Indeed, I’ve already decided on a third tattoo, but it has a few more years of thought left to go into it. It has been five years since my first tattoo and I’m ready for my second.
I’ve been wanting a spider tattoo for some time and only recently started thinking concretely about it (I had to give it 5 years, after all). I know where I want it (on my foot) and that I want it to be a realistic (rather than stylized or cartoony) spider. But what kind of spider? I did a lot of research & kept coming back to the black widow, a beautiful spider. But I knew I didn’t want the hourglass—I want the emphasis on the fact that she’s a beautiful spider, not that she’s a beautiful killer. I just recently realized that I could get a top view of a black, shiny, beautiful spider.
But who? When I got my first tattoo, I went into Venice (Beach) and stopped at the first place I found. Not a real sophisticated approach. I knew enough to make sure they were clean & ask the right questions, but I didn’t have a relationship with the place. My step-mother-in-law has recently gotten a few tattoos, each time developing a relationship with her artist and working together with him or her to develop a design. And they are beautiful. This has been what has been stopping me from heading back into Venice. I don’t just want a permanent mark. I want an experience.
At the Edwardian Ball recently, I saw & met (sort of) one of the sponsors: Zulu, of Zulu Tattoo. When I interacted with him, I didn’t realize he was someone, but he was kind and gracious and warm and friendly. So I looked up his parlor. I found following poem on his site (I’m doing it an injustice printing it statically, you should go to the website for the full effect):
Since the dawn of time…
Man has marked his body…
To associate with his tribe…
and his Gods
this ancient art is preserved by the Primal Spirit that dwells in us All
that Spirit which yearns to artistically express it’s Pride and Ancestry
Welcome to the Tribe
I want my next tattoo to be a deeper experience. Zulu Tattoo seems to be the right place to do it. Then I read Zulu’s message to his visitors: “My concern is to provide you with a custom design fitted for you alone. I encourage clients to get involved in the creation of their sacred markings as we work together to bring that which is within you to the surface. I look forward to having the pleasure and the honor of being chosen to give you your sacred mark.” That’s it. I want a sacred mark. And I want to get it at Zulu Tattoo.
19 responses so far ↓
1 Amber // Feb 2, 2009 at 7:50 pm
5 years?! Wow. My plan was to decide EXACTLY what I wanted, and where, and if I still wanted it in one year, I could get it. I designed my first tattoo myself and got it a year later, and I still love it (six years later). I want another tattoo, but I can’t get a solid grip on what exactly I want (or even generally) and where I want to get it.
I do think that next time, I will let the tattoo artist have some input into the design. It is, after all, what they do best.
2 Chandelle // Feb 3, 2009 at 8:47 am
I’ve wanted a tattoo and a nose piercing since earliest memory. I finally got the nose piercing a year ago, but the tattoo has been a harder commitment. As a kid, I wanted a moth. I really identified with moths and thought they were beautiful creatures, and I still might do that someday. But lately I’ve gotten totally obsessed with the idea of tattooing words on myself – poetry, song lyrics, single-word statements. There are several lines that are dear to me, that I would love to have tattooed somewhere visible as a constant reminder. I’ve become firmly committed to one simple, single-word tattoo and I’m really hoping that I can get it done very soon. It will be small, cheap and simple, and it will hopefully give me some idea of how much it will hurt, how long it will take my skin to recover and whether I really want to go to the trouble of getting an Alex Grey painting or most of an entire song tattooed on my body someday when I’m rich.
I hope you’ll post some photographs when your spider is done.
3 Mossie // Feb 3, 2009 at 12:31 pm
The tattoos I’ve chosen have had deep significance, and I relate to what you say about the placement and intention and symbolism for you personally. I’m in the process of getting a series of tattoos up my spine, interweaving infinity symbols. I can only work on it after a significant milestone, and getting my JD didn’t qualify. I said I’d do the next set after I passed the bar exam. But then I decided I didn’t want to pass the bar exam. So the next piece in the chain is hanging out in the ether, waiting for a worthy milestone.
Best wishes for your foot tattoo. I bet it’ll be beautiful.
4 EBrown // Feb 3, 2009 at 3:29 pm
I don’t “get” tattoos. I usually feel sorry for the people who have them. One sunny day, I saw a beautiful young girl in a retro summery dress. Lovely, then she passed me: on her back a tattoo. My thought, “what was she thinking?”
I view tattoos as logos or commercials. I know that the people who get them love them and that’s fine. But they seem generic to me.
I’ve never loved any piece of art enough to want to wear it 24/7.
5 EBrown // Feb 3, 2009 at 3:31 pm
“I wear my moas on the inside.”
6 xJane // Feb 3, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Amber: one year is likely sufficient, but I heard this when I was a kid, so it was likely extended to give me pause.
Chandelle: Angelina Jolie has some awesome word-tattoos (and some awesome “regular” tattoos). I know a girl who got bracelet tattoos of her favorite quote from Shakespeare, in her own handwriting, around each wrist—they’re beautiful. To paraphrase EBrown, I’ve never loved any words enough to want to wear them. Although I remember a quote from a song I loved as a kid, “to thine own self be true” (obviously not original to that song, but that’s how I think of it)—in the song it was on “a heart-shaped locket”. I don’t wear necklaces most of the time, so maybe that’s a good set of words for me…
Mossie—I find that a lot of people have a “story” behind their tattoos. I’m still working up the courage to ask a classmate of mine about his. It seems to be a very personal/spiritual tattoo and I’m interested in the story.
I didn’t get my first tattoo for any widely-recognized milestone, but for me it marked a conscious adulthood rite. I had been making my own decisions for some time, but this was the first that felt, to me, like something of import. I was my own person, I was going to do want I wanted, and I was going to accept what consequences came from my decisions. I was no longer going to live my life according to other the rules of other people. It may have partly been an inward kind of a dare—am I really going to get a tattoo that I know full well my parents and family are going to hate? But it also gave me the courage to make other (and, to me, more important) choices that were my own but that would upset my parents (like moving in with DH before we got married).
My spider tattoo was going to be for my acceptance to law school, but I didn’t have an artist I wanted to entrust with it at that point. I then decided to put it off until graduation. But now, I feel like I want the power, courage, and protection of the Spider while I’m still here…
EBrown: there’s a saying that the difference between people with tattoos and people without tattoos is that people with tattoos don’t care whether or not you have a tattoo… I hope you never feel sorry for me
I think tattoos are beautiful (unlike some body modification, which is not to my taste) and, because of the pain involved, are necessarily spiritual; or at least emotional. I just watched Her Majesty, about a Maori woman & her European-New Zealander friend, a 12 year old girl. She describes her tattoo as a rite of passage, that she had to affirmatively go to the tattooer and answer questions (much like, when she said them, the kinds of questions asked in confirmation ceremonies of many religions) along the lines of: do you accept the markings of your people, the pain that they will cause, and the responsibility that wearing them gives you? I think that, to a large extent, they still are a rite of passage or the acknowledgement of a momentous event. Many women get them after a particular milestone of breast cancer (to the point that it’s totally mainstream to see 50-something women with chest tattoos); men get them in the military; teenagers get them when they’re trying to break out of their parents’ expectations.
I finally discussed it with my husband last night. He, also, doesn’t “get” tattoos, but his response to my getting them is “it’s your body” and a bit of a weirded-out shrug. We discussed my reasons for it, the length of time I’ve wanted it (I think he would prefer that I go five years between tattoos, lest I become the Illustrated Woman), and what it means to me.
What does that quotation mean?
7 Craig // Feb 3, 2009 at 6:07 pm
For a lot of the same reasons you give for getting your tattoo, I got my eyebrow pierced. I’ve also been wanting to get a tattoo, but I’ve not decided on what or where yet.
I think that both tattoos and piercings can be a really great way to display something artistic, and unique, more than just clothing. I really see the artistic component of both as at least as important as any desire to make a statement or to do something untraditional.
8 xJane // Feb 3, 2009 at 6:14 pm
oh! I love the way eyebrow piercings look! My friend used to have one, but took it out for some (good) reason a while back & never put it back in. I still miss it every once in a while, when I look at her.
9 Chandelle // Feb 3, 2009 at 6:37 pm
Jane, your description of taking on adulthood with a tattoo is a good explanation for how I felt when I got my nose pierced. Many people opposed to body modifications believe them to be juvenile, insecure acts, and maybe they are for some people. But for me, getting my nose pierced was an act of liberation, however small. I was a year out of the Church, and it was something I had always wanted but staved off as a Church member. It was sort of my way of saying that I knew what was best for me better than anyone else and even if some people treated me poorly because of it, I was willing to take that on to make a forthright statement about my independence.
I understand that some people are very judgmental of piercings or tattoos, and have the attitude that EBrown does, that it’s unfortunate, ugly, embarrassing or in some way corporate (huh?). But I don’t wish to get a tattoo for anyone else. I don’t even care if nobody ever sees it. It’s for me. If everyone else is doing it, I don’t care about that either. It’s for me. It’s a statement to me, about me. It’s not for anyone else. And if some people do get tattoos to show to the world, that’s cool too. Everyone has methods whereby they make statements about themselves to themselves or to the world. Some people have fancy cars or a certain hairstyle or a color that they wear or a particular job or a school that they send their kids to or a place where they work out – all of which may be designed to say something about themselves to themselves or other people. Some people choose tattoos or piercings, and I don’t believe it’s less valid than anything else I listed.
10 EBrown // Feb 3, 2009 at 7:13 pm
Gee, do I have to repent for being “very judgmental?” I’ve lived in the Bay Area where tattoos are common. I’ve wandered into Lyle Tuttle’s shop in North Beach. For years I earned my living as a Public Defender: many of my clients, if not all, had tats (I recall one unfortunate client who couldn’t believe the vic in a 211 (robbery) could identify him, despite the fact that he had his name tattooed on his forehead, which I thought was a dead giveaway…). I lived on the fringe of a punk scene where tattoos and piercings were as common as Doc Martens. Lots of my friends have them. I would never dislike a person because s/he had a tattoo nor deny a service or a benefit to them. I have complimented people on an interesting tattoo from time to time. I understand the power tattoos, scarification, and piercings may have in some cultures. My use of the word “corporate” refers to the fact that many tattoos seem to resemble corporate logos or icons: I know quite a number of corporate lawyers who have tattoos. blah.blah.blah.
I don’t “get” them but I get that it’s for “you.” If it floats your boat mazeltov.
11 Craig // Feb 3, 2009 at 7:43 pm
EBrown,
Your two comments seem to be contradicting each other. You say that you “just don’t get tattoos”, which is fine, but say both, “if it floats your boat mazeltov”, and “Lovely, then she passed me: on her back a tattoo. My thought, ‘what was she thinking?’”
Your first comment did seem very judgemental of people who choose to get tattoos – you were saying, it seemed, that people oughtn’t get tattoos, because *you* think they’re ugly and “generic” – I honestly don’t know what you really mean by that last one by the way. Why judge someone at all who has any sort of tattoo? Why did you have to judge that girl as less pretty simply because she has got a tattoo on her back.
I think that it is fine to say that you don’t like something for yourself, and don’t want to do it, but it seemed to me that you were foisting that opinion onto others by saying that they shouldn’t do something you don’t want to do. I find that a rather troubling and dangerous mindset.
12 EBrown // Feb 3, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Craig, there’s no contradiction. If you want to do something go ahead and do so long as it doesn’t frighten the horses but I don’t have to admire it. I don’t believe that I have to be neutral, nor to forego opinions. I don’t recall using the word “ugly” nor did I follow that young woman hurling epithets at her, get a petition to outlaw tattoos or to place those who have them beyond the Pale. Congratulations on living without preferences, likes, dislikes or opinions. I get it everyone is beautiful in his own way. I still think Karl Rove looks like a toad. Whatever.
13 xJane // Feb 3, 2009 at 9:12 pm
Chandelle @9 re: corporate: there was an awesome scene awhile back in House where House is interviewing a guy for one of the sidekick positions & the guy thinks he’s being rejected for having a tattoo. House goes, “oh, yeah, a tattoo on a 20-something, I’ve never seen that before!” I think that, in a lot of ways, tattoos can be a conformist thing even as the person getting them think they’re being original. I also agree that it should be for oneself and not any other reason—that’s one of the things that my family dislikes about me, that I’m selfish & do things for myself.
EBrown @10: lol! to the guy with his forehead tattooed (was it backwards, so he could read it in a mirror in case he forgot who he was?) I agree that many tattoos are corporate (I was just this evening checking out this flickr set), which may go to defining oneself as belonging to a tribe (even if it is the Nike tribe…).
I also agree that it’s not necessary to consider a tattoo “ugly” in order to dislike them. They are painful, permanent, and sometimes unhealthy. And there are many times when I see a tattoo and think “what was she thinking?” I don’t usually “get” face tattoos, unless they’re obviously tribal (I really do like the Maori chin ones). And we do live in a world where visible tattoos are often looked down on (by people who are not you, who would deny service or benefit). I don’t always feel that I’m in a space where I can openly talk about my desire for a new tattoo, and I thank you for your candor about it. Like I say, there are many body modifications I don’t “get”—genital mutilation of either gender (including circumcision and piercing) & surgical implantation (of steel or silicon) being at the top.
And Karl Rove does look like a toad. Proof, I suppose, that there’s someone for everyone.
14 EBrown // Feb 4, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Nope. His head “read” correctly if you were looking at it. In case anyone is wondering, he was convicted. I don’t know why.
15 G // Feb 5, 2009 at 2:14 pm
love the spider idea. did you see the spider in Misha’s (one of zulu’s artists) gallery? the cast shadows to make it look like it was walking on the person was an interesting touch (imo… i’d rather have the sleek black look of the Black Widow instead of the hairy tarantula. good call.)
wonderful tattoo parlor btw… dangit, need to find something like this locally. good luck. I can’t wait to see pics.
16 xJane // Feb 5, 2009 at 3:24 pm
you know, I didn’t even realize there was an artist-by-artist gallery! That is a really cool spider (and I agree, I’m not a fan of the hairy spider genre). I like the thought of the shadow but am wondering if that would make it bigger than I want it.
I’m so happy that I stumbled across this parlor—I had been sort of idly looking, but don’t really know what to look for in terms of finding a tattoo parlor that’s right for me (as opposed to just a good or acceptable parlor). Good luck!
17 Jim C. // Feb 8, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Being judgmental, I find some tattoos beautiful and some ugly, some tasteful and some tasteless, some meaningful and some meaningless, etc., etc., etc. No different than music, art. literature, or places in nature. I respect a person’s right to have a tattoo, even if I might not respect the tattoo. But, without meaning to offend anyone, the bottom line I see in tattoos is generally “Look at me.”
18 EBrown // Feb 8, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Golden Orb spiders are beautiful.
19 xJane // Feb 8, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Jim C.—I agree that many tattoos are evidence of a desire to stand out (as are shoes, clothes, makeup, &c.), but I don’t think that’s “the bottom line” any more than someone who wears a baseball cap’s “bottom line” in wearing it is necessarily “look at me”.
EB—they truly are. I wanted a black tattoo, so I wanted a beautiful black spider. I really like the zigzags some spiders put into their webs…and webs in general
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