My first bout of graduate school was at the University of Utah in Salt Lake City (the U!). We quickly realized that our little family wouldn’t make the rent on my stipend, so like many job-free Mormons without marketable skills, I went down to the local Church welfare office and found me a job. A week later I found myself in a bow tie and a polyester cummerbund (what is the etymology of that word, anyway?) serving badly cooked chicken to LDS bigwigs in the former Hotel Utah and newly rechristened Joseph Smith Memorial Building.
Many great Remy tales come from this period, including the time I ripped about 18 inches of seam in the seat of my trousers and managed to cross a crowded lobby and ride an elevator to the catering office, where I repaired my pants in a cubicle with a box of safety pins. Maybe I’ll share a few other stories with you some time.
Besides being mostly white, the demographics of the catering crew differed from many of the other SLC hotel waitstaff in one major way: perhaps half were children, grandchildren, nephews and nieces of Church leaders and were also students at the U. (In retrospect, this may just be indicative of the population of Salt Lake City.) I also got to meet every Apostle and most of the Seventies at the time.
My affection for the late James E. Faust dates from this time. In spite of my once accidentally calling him Dr. Faustus (I was reading Goethe at the time), whenever I captained one of his banquets or ran into him in an elevator, he would put a grandfatherly hand on my shoulder and take a few minutes to ask about my studies and my family. It wasn’t until after he died that I learned he was one of the couple of open Democrats in the Church hierarchy.
While serving the current #2 guy, Henry B. Eyring, at a wedding reception on the top floor one evening, by way of small talk I mentioned something about his legendary father who taught chemistry at the U. for many years. Eyring looked out towards the mountains, seemed to forget about me for a second, and said, “Dad was a hard man.” (Talk about awkward!) Feeling like I had intruded on a private moment, I retreated.
The most surprising things I learned were about Thomas Monson. My perception of him was founded mostly on his General Conference talks, in which he regularly followed the Holy Spirit and single-handedly served the Church’s elderly widows. If you’re a Mo and your mom or granny lost her husband, President Monson is probably sitting in her front parlor drinking (herbal) tea right this moment. But at the Smith Building and the Church offices, Monson had a different reputation.
They say that you can tell a lot about the character of a person by how they treat those who serve them. Monson was nitpicky and critical. His skim milk had to be cold enough that ice crystals just formed on the surface. He was the only church leader who came into the service kitchens and berated the caterers. He railed on a custodian who didn’t adequately polish the baseboards in his office. There were many such tales.
So with this background, I was not at all surprised to learn that of all the fights that his new administration could throw its mighty political weight behind–reducing domestic violence (considered by some a threat to the traditional family), signing on to the National Religious Campaign to Abolish Torture, joining evangelical churches on recent initiatives to reduce global poverty and to fight the AIDS epidemic–he instead chose to exacerbate division in America at a moment of historical crisis. This was a risky move from a political, historical and even a missionary/PR perspective. It tells us a lot about the character of the Mormon prophet that he decided that one of his historical legacies would be to bully a minority group out of their rights.
16 responses so far ↓
1 Elaine // Nov 23, 2008 at 9:09 am
I knew there was a reason I liked Faust. Hadn’t realized before that he was a Democrat.
He came to a stake conference once in my stake in SoCal when I was still active in the church. Instead of holding himself aloof like most of the higher-ups in the church seem to (at least in my experience), he was out working the crowd before the session, and when I met him instead of just shaking hands like they usually do, he greeted me with a great big bear hug that actually felt genuine.
2 sarah k. // Nov 23, 2008 at 9:24 am
I got in on one of the VIP functions at the JSMB, too, where Monson was present. So was Hinckley. The big difference was that Monson insisted on being served before his wife, what with his eternal priesthoods and all that, while Hinckley insisted his wife be served before himself.
I think the Church of Monson will do what the Church of Monson wants.
3 Lessie // Nov 23, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Yes, I was sad when James E. Faust died. He seemed so compassionate and open minded. As for Monson, he was never one of my favorites. And oddly enough, even my psycho-uber-conservative religion profs. really didn’t have a lot of good to say about his stuff. But if they had any similar experiences with his apparently arrogant attitude, they never had the nerve to mention it in class.
At any rate, I’m glad I got out when I did
4 Jonathan Blake // Nov 23, 2008 at 12:45 pm
The only impression I had about Monson was his schmaltzy general conference talks. They weren’t to my taste, and something rubbed me the wrong way. If it wasn’t the cloyingly saccharine, it was the fact that he dyed his hair. (I was pretty judgmental as a Mormon.) At least he seemed—even to my ex-Mo self—like a kind, caring person. So I was a little surprised when the church continued its pattern of sticking it to the little guy when he took the helm. I kind of expected Monson to be a soft touch.
Now I know why I always felt like I was being had by a used car salesman. If Packer is a prig, at least he’s upfront about it.
5 Craig // Nov 23, 2008 at 1:00 pm
I didn’t know this about him at all. Though back when I did watch conference, I never liked his talks.
But I was surprised at the sudden shift once Hinckley died. It’s interesting to see how much church policies (and therefore doctrines) change when there’s a new dictator at the helm.
God sure gets weird mood swings every time a prophet dies…
6 G // Nov 23, 2008 at 1:12 pm
“God sure gets weird mood swings every time a prophet dies…”
ha! craig. that’s awesome.
thank you, john, for the insider information.
7 aerin // Nov 24, 2008 at 5:41 am
As a former waitress/server myself, I agree that how a person treats the wait staff speaks volumes about them. Many people don’t realize just how poorly waiters/waitresses are paid (less than minimum wage). Others don’t realize just how difficult their job can be – if they’ve never had to do it themselves.
I am no better than the person who clean the toliets at my work. Who, btw, does a great job and does a great service. Would I rather be doing that? No. So I have appreciation that she does that.
Everyone deserves to be treated like a human being. No exceptions. (thank you John for this post, apologies, I think you hit a nerve for me).
8 MostlyNormal // Nov 24, 2008 at 8:27 am
An interesting post, but since it is third hand and hearsay I find it hard to buy in to. I’m not disagreeing, I just take third hand accounts with a grain of salt. I have heard equally harsh comments about Faust – as he lived in my stake (which I tend to not believe either)
9 Craig // Nov 24, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Honestly, I think that all of those who run that church have way, way too much power and authority, and it goes to their heads, pretty much universally.
The fact that they’re NOT being visited by God/Jesus on a daily basis (or probably ever, in their lives) makes for a perception in the church (where they believe that) that they’re perfectly saintly nice old men, and outside for a (probably more accurate) perception that they’re really no different than say the Pope and cardinals of the Catholic church – old men with tons of power. And this is something which rarely helps people be more empathetic and loving – usually the opposite.
I don’t trust or like any of them. And regardless of whether some of the individuals are nicer than the others, they’re still responsible for perpetuating horrible homophobia, sexism, and anti-intellectualism – because at the least, they do nothing to stop it, and are in a position not only where they could, but they absolutely ought. And that right there says to me that those 15 men (as well as many others) are untrustworthy.
10 Jonathan // Nov 25, 2008 at 11:06 am
Craig -
Awesome stuff!! After going though bad church experiences years ago, I myself came to the same conclusion about religious power structures.
I made a proposal to turn to a less hierarchical structure (I call it the network model) where the buck stops with the elder board of a local church. Accountability of elders can be done without someone higher up in the chain of command, and instead could be handled by anyone more mature that they feel they can talk to. The pastor/priests would additionally have a check – they would be one elder in the board of elders, or would be under the authority of the board itself. Ideally, there would be no single pastor, else we have a little dictatorship, so the teaching ministry would be shared among elders with that gift. The money to run the local church would be raised by the regular supports in the body. Nice, simple, and much less prone to power corruption. Doctrine stances would be decided on a church level. I could see different societies forming that followed different theological packages (Calvinist, Charismatic, Traditional, etc.).
One of the pastors at a church I used to go to talked with me at length about this model, and has since adopted it and removed the authority structures above them.
11 Nathan // Nov 25, 2008 at 6:46 pm
What examples of:
1) “power corruption” (Jonathan), and
2) “sticking it to the little guy” (Jonathan Blake)
Have you guys experienced (if it is not being too personal to ask)?
12 Jonathan // Nov 26, 2008 at 6:27 am
Having political power corrupts a person’s morality. When it comes to a church power structures, this is all the worse – and can lead to many awful problems that drive people away from church, Christianity, and God in general. Pastors and priests hold spiritual authority in the eyes of their congregation. When they become too corrupt, they begin stealing money, lying, cheating, having affairs, plagiarizing sermons, and spiritual abuse people for their own selfish ends. Basically, they give in to their selfish nature and use their power to feed it.
Pride is the first to rear its ugly head with spiritual power. With mindless devoted followers, a person who sees the corruption of a spiritual leader, if caught, will have the corrupt that spiritual leader turn the entire congregation against you – saying you are an evil dissenter in to body (excommunication) – You loose all your friends, etc.
When this happened to me, my old pastor actually told people that it was OK to steal and lie as long as people are coming to God in the process (the end justifies the means)… But anyone who disagrees with him is hopelessly evil and needs to be made an example of and must be publicly humiliated. Why? Because I didn’t confront him face to face like is said in the Bible. I personally took to heart the “Don’t throw your pearls before swine…” verse instead. And good, moral Christian men and women believed him. I have never seen such a blatent example of pastor-worship in my life among Evangelical Christianity.
Unfortunately, this pastor encouraged it. He discouraged personal study of the Bible and wanted the attenders of the church to not think for themselves, but to believe what he told them. When you’re only source of spiritual truth comes from one human being, you are up shit creek without a paddle.
Sadly, my story is nothing compared to others. I’m still a very serious Christian after all this – still attend a church, am a leader in the youth group, am attending seminary, etc. However, I can understand the intense hurt and anger of people that came from similar or worse situations than mine, who may never recover from what happened to them (such as cults, sexual abuse, etc.). I see a loss of faith in these situations as a gracious gift of God. If God were good, He would want them to be rid of such diabolical poison that makes up the corrupted, man-made religion we find in our society today.
Here’s my take for the theist crowd (ignore if you’re not)
–
What they saw or experienced was not the real God, nor were the corrupt religious leaders His followers. They worshiped another god that may look similar to the Christian one, but isn’t. In such situations, if the real God was ever involved, my guess is He turned over the spiritual reigns to the one who would be more fitting for such filth – Satan. And as a Christian, I believe this is the individual that runs a majority of churches/religious centers today. Nothing is new- this is how religion has always been since the dawn of time.
Sorry – not one of my finer comment posts. Its a sore subject for me, and I’m not altogether rational about it.
13 Jonathan Blake // Nov 26, 2008 at 9:02 am
What examples of: …“sticking it to the little guy” … Have you guys experienced (if it is not being too personal to ask)?
I resist the idea that the abuse of religious and political power needs to be directed at me before it becomes my concern. Aside from being moved by basic compassion, a threat to anyone’s freedom is a threat to my own.
What I meant by the Mormon church’s pattern of sticking it to the little guy is their repeated opposition to recognizing the rights of a politically disadvantaged group. They opposed desegregation and interracial marriage, the Equal Rights Amendment, and now equal marital rights for same-sex couples.
14 ron // Jan 28, 2009 at 9:00 am
Mr Monson is trying to sell a home in Maui right now for 8 million dollars!!!!!. How does a leader of the church get enough dough to buy an 8 million dollar vacation home. I am supicious as heck.
15 Max // Aug 14, 2009 at 8:04 am
to ron,
do you have any documentation or source confirming Mr. Monson’s home in Maui. I’d really be interested in seeing it.
16 This Post is Rated Ex, for Excommunication. | Mind on Fire // Sep 15, 2009 at 10:05 pm
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