Comments on: on Marriage…or whatever you want to call it http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/on-marriage-or-whatever/ Religion, SF, and Other Speculative Fictions. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:55:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: xJane http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/on-marriage-or-whatever/comment-page-1/#comment-17849 xJane Mon, 19 May 2008 14:59:43 +0000 http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/newtons-are-fruit-cake/#comment-17849 <a href="http://feministlawprofs.law.sc.edu/?p=3532" rel="nofollow">lest you think I'm a cynic</a> well, okay, that doesn't prove I'm not a cynic, just that I'm not the only one... lest you think I’m a cynic

well, okay, that doesn’t prove I’m not a cynic, just that I’m not the only one…

]]> By: xJane http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/on-marriage-or-whatever/comment-page-1/#comment-17845 xJane Sun, 18 May 2008 16:55:34 +0000 http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/newtons-are-fruit-cake/#comment-17845 I suppose I should be clear about the tax thing: now that we're married, DH nor I do taxes. We use the accountant he's been using for donkey's years. We pay him $90 so that we don't have to think about it. Before that, I had to do my own taxes (which is not that horrible) and then call my accountant/mother (which was). One of my cousins had a friend of his officiate his wedding, which I think is awesome. If I had it to do over (or thought I could get away with it), I would totally do that. She was not a minister, she just got certified by the State for the day, and got to give the Übertoast: neither Maid of Honor nor Best Man but <i>Officiant!</i> I suppose I should be clear about the tax thing: now that we’re married, DH nor I do taxes. We use the accountant he’s been using for donkey’s years. We pay him $90 so that we don’t have to think about it. Before that, I had to do my own taxes (which is not that horrible) and then call my accountant/mother (which was).

One of my cousins had a friend of his officiate his wedding, which I think is awesome. If I had it to do over (or thought I could get away with it), I would totally do that. She was not a minister, she just got certified by the State for the day, and got to give the Übertoast: neither Maid of Honor nor Best Man but Officiant!

]]> By: wren http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/on-marriage-or-whatever/comment-page-1/#comment-17833 wren Sun, 18 May 2008 02:03:35 +0000 http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/newtons-are-fruit-cake/#comment-17833 I chime in agreeing wholeheartedly on the religious and civil marriages being separate. I actually have a couple of religious friends who've been advocating that for a long time. I'm glad to see more people <i>not</i> getting married in churches. I've known many non-believing friends who married in a church because <i>that's just what everybody does</i>. I find it a bit disingenuous and disrespectful to both the believers and non-believers to do so but I get the cultural expectations. Since more are having informal weddings now or having a judge officiate, it's becoming more acceptable culturally to skip the church deal. I saved money on car insurance when I was married but I lost my arse on taxes. I haven't figured out how anyone married saves money on taxes unless they have some kids. I don't know if my ex and I fell into some black hole bracket of hell but it sucked. I chime in agreeing wholeheartedly on the religious and civil marriages being separate. I actually have a couple of religious friends who’ve been advocating that for a long time.

I’m glad to see more people not getting married in churches. I’ve known many non-believing friends who married in a church because that’s just what everybody does. I find it a bit disingenuous and disrespectful to both the believers and non-believers to do so but I get the cultural expectations. Since more are having informal weddings now or having a judge officiate, it’s becoming more acceptable culturally to skip the church deal.

I saved money on car insurance when I was married but I lost my arse on taxes. I haven’t figured out how anyone married saves money on taxes unless they have some kids. I don’t know if my ex and I fell into some black hole bracket of hell but it sucked.

]]> By: amelia http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/on-marriage-or-whatever/comment-page-1/#comment-17831 amelia Sat, 17 May 2008 17:40:07 +0000 http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/newtons-are-fruit-cake/#comment-17831 i couldn't agree more that religious marriage rites and civil marriages should be separate things. thanks for making that point so succinctly. i was thrilled when i heard this news the other day. i simply do not understand opposition to gay marriage. i couldn’t agree more that religious marriage rites and civil marriages should be separate things. thanks for making that point so succinctly.

i was thrilled when i heard this news the other day. i simply do not understand opposition to gay marriage.

]]> By: xJane http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/on-marriage-or-whatever/comment-page-1/#comment-17824 xJane Fri, 16 May 2008 02:38:36 +0000 http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/newtons-are-fruit-cake/#comment-17824 Eric: your fears are very well placed. If this gets onto the November ballot, the liberals are going to have to <b><i>mobilize</i></b> as we never have before. 'Cause the conservatives sure will be: "save our families! stop the sin! vote against love!" We're all familiar with the slogans. Eric: your fears are very well placed. If this gets onto the November ballot, the liberals are going to have to mobilize as we never have before. ‘Cause the conservatives sure will be: “save our families! stop the sin! vote against love!” We’re all familiar with the slogans.

]]> By: xJane http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/on-marriage-or-whatever/comment-page-1/#comment-17823 xJane Fri, 16 May 2008 02:36:57 +0000 http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/newtons-are-fruit-cake/#comment-17823 Tammy (<a href="http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/spark-loving/#comment-17822" rel="nofollow">cross posted</a>) thanx for <a href="http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2008/05/15/california/index.html" rel="nofollow">the link</a>. It's a must-read. I think it's telling that the judges emphasized the fact that they didn't <i>necessarily</i> agree with their own ruling (although it does make me wonder which side they sympathize with), only that the <i>law</i> supports the ruling. All this bandying-about of the term "activist judges" (which I'm sure we'll be hearing soon enough to relate to these judges) has had a chilling effect on the judicial profession. Tammy (cross posted) thanx for the link. It’s a must-read. I think it’s telling that the judges emphasized the fact that they didn’t necessarily agree with their own ruling (although it does make me wonder which side they sympathize with), only that the law supports the ruling. All this bandying-about of the term “activist judges” (which I’m sure we’ll be hearing soon enough to relate to these judges) has had a chilling effect on the judicial profession.

]]> By: xJane http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/on-marriage-or-whatever/comment-page-1/#comment-17821 xJane Fri, 16 May 2008 02:32:16 +0000 http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/newtons-are-fruit-cake/#comment-17821 heh...I'm an idiot: that "some blog or another" that I heard about today's ruling from was...um...<a href="http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/spark-loving/#comment-17809" rel="nofollow">this one</a>. Thanx, Elaine :-p heh…I’m an idiot: that “some blog or another” that I heard about today’s ruling from was…um…this one. Thanx, Elaine :-p

]]> By: Eric http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/on-marriage-or-whatever/comment-page-1/#comment-17820 Eric Fri, 16 May 2008 02:24:03 +0000 http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/05/15/newtons-are-fruit-cake/#comment-17820 Great assessment, xJane! I had never looked at marriage as a separation of church and state issue, but it makes a lot more sense when viewed from that perspective. Hey, anything to distract the right-wingers from their bigoted attacks against Obama can't be all bad in my book. So why am I still afraid that some of them are capable of causing considerable damage in both areas? Great assessment, xJane! I had never looked at marriage as a separation of church and state issue, but it makes a lot more sense when viewed from that perspective.

Hey, anything to distract the right-wingers from their bigoted attacks against Obama can’t be all bad in my book. So why am I still afraid that some of them are capable of causing considerable damage in both areas?

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