I do want everyone to feel comfortable. That’s why I’d like to talk to you about Jesus.

[imitating an audience member] “He better not…”

It doesn’t matter if you’re religious or not, does anything make you feel more uncomfortable than some stranger going, “I’d like to talk to you about Jesus.”?
“Yeah, I’d like you not to.”
You could say that to the Pope: “I wanna talk to you about Jesus.”
You’d be like, “Easy, freak. I keep work at work.”

Well, not actual praying…but still. I took my mother to lunch after I got finished with work, and practically as soon as we sat down, this guy came over and started asking personal questions about my mother’s health. She has a tumor on her forehead, and it is covered, but very noticeable.

After he asked once, I explained to him that that was not something we talk to strangers about. That didn’t stop him, but we tried to plolitely ignore him. That didn’t stop him , either, so I rather more forcefully told him that he was violating boundaries. He started to back away then…literally, walking backwards, doing this sort of chant, repeating, “May God bless and heal you”.

Then, when I got up to go get food (it was a buffet restaurant) he started very loudly…he was a couple of tables away from where I was walking…begging for forgiveness. It was really…creepy. I said not to worry about it, but gave the “boundaries” talk again, and he finally left us alone.

Apparently, either my mother or myself (I really think it’s me, because it has happened when I wasn’t with my mother, too) was born with a “religious nut” magnet included. It’s probably a variation on the drunk magnet my father had. It never failed…anyplace he went, if there was someone drunk and looking for someone to commiserate with, they’d gravitate to him.

In this particular situation I may not have mentioned it – I suppose it would require the guy to have asked “why won’t you check out our church?” or some-such in order for me to feel it was necessary to state my views. I don’t come out and say it unless it’s apropos to the conversation.

But I do firmly and often state that I am an atheist. I do this because I believe it is important that others, non-atheists, get to know who atheists are – namely, me. I’m not a blood-drinking satan-worshipping baby-killer. I’m their kindly neighbor, their friendly coworker, I’m the lady who let them cut in line at the grocery store and the one who held the door open for them when their arms were full. I’m normal. And that’s important for folks to realize.

Each time I am open as an atheist I feel I create the possibility of understanding and clarity. I also believe that my being open today makes it that much easier for the next atheist tomorrow.

So I won’t be seen in a “Kiss me! I’m an Atheist” t-shirt anytime soon (tho, that’s a cool idea!), but I won’t hide this important aspect of who I am. For me, at the end of the day, silence about my atheism is equal to tacit acceptance of shame or guilt. I hope to erase that stigma, one open conversation at a time.

The real problem with it is that these people will, if they even ask, go ahead on and start praying before I can say ‘yea’ or ‘nay’. And, you know, once they’re in the middle of the thing, even heathen old me has a tough time saying, “Hey, hold it, stop. I didn’t tell you you could do that.”

We’ve actually had to almost completely stop going to one restaurant because this old guy who goes in there all the time will just not leave it alone. I don’t know what his story is, but he’s just…creepy. *shudder*

I like your response about the petition. We were out shopping and there was someone circulating that one in front of one of the stores we went in, with a big sign that said something about “God’s idea of marriage: 1 man and 1 woman” (probably not the exact wording, but close enough). I couldn’t stop myself from making a louder-than-strictly-necessary comment to my mother about arrogant people who think they know the mind of God as we walked by.

I totally agree that a boss inviting a subordinate to church is completely out of line! I went to a mosque with a coworker who I suppose was technically my superior, but I expressed interest…

I love the sneeze response, Elaine: although I don’t even say “bless you” then, I am okay with people saying it. (I say “gesudheit”, but with no trace of it being an actual german word…)

When you talked about people praying over you in public (wow, that’s weird, how often does that happen?!) I recalled a woman who was talking to me in the library & asked me for the second time what my name was; she closed her eyes and said, “I will not confess that I’m having a ‘senior moment’…I will confess with my mouth that I have a wonderful memory…” and went on, ending with “In Jesus’ name, amen”. That was an odd experience!

Tom: You’re absolutely right! There should be no stigma against saying you’re an atheist, any more than saying you’re Buddhist. But, given the option, I’d probably still pretend to be Buddhist. And, just for the record: D&D is cute, LARPing? Still weird.

There is a stigma attached to atheism that prevents us from participating in social interactions in the same way that the religious do. This is the thing to be recognized.

Ah, well.

And as to the D&D thing, if I had only known that my rpg hobby could be an in with the cute, geeky girl, then my life would be completely different. *sigh* Now I just need to *find* a cute, geeky girl.

I don’t really care that they know how I feel about deity, I suppose. I discuss it enough on the ‘net and with people I know IRL. I just have this thing about strangers and what is their business and what isn’t.

If I’m in a really bad mood and someone gives me a “God bless you”, I have been known to ask, “Oh, did someone sneeze?” Bad manners on my part, probably, but sometimes that just bothers the crap out of me. My manners get even worse when someone starts to pray over me in public…and yes, that’s happened before. Sometimes that gets them a lecture on boundaries and the respect thereof.

My boyfriend was recently temping at a consulting firm where he boss invited him to his church on about 8 occassions. I told him I thought that was completely inappropriate and unacceptable, but he said he didn’t think it was a huge deal.

I can see where it’s hard to just be upfront being an athiest- maybe I just feel insecure enough in my lack of belief that I don’t want to get into it with any reandom stranger that tries to invite me to church. Maybe instead of smiling and saying no thanks I should invite them to the Quaker meeting to worship among the Athiests and people of many different belief systems, but I am not sure.

Also I think the D & D invite is the cutest thing ever.