Ironically, one of the few places in Mormondom where I still feel welcome is in the Mormon feminist blogspace. Three of them are listed in my sidebar under “Feminist.” One of my favorite sites, Zelophehad’s Daughters, is run by grad students (I feel a spiritual affinity to my favorite ZD blogger, Kiskilili, who studies Sumerian and/or Akkadian at Harvard), and Ziff has a recent post crunching 2007 Bloggernacle stats the way a hungry man crunches Grape Nuts.
Jana mentioned that I was featured in some of the analysis. This surprised me, because my stint in early 2007 as a guest blogger on a Bloggernacle (i.e., the Mormon blogosphere) blog was a short one. I hope you’ll forgive me if I’m self-reflexive for a bit (after all, that’s what blogs are for!) Here’s where I scored well (as if this were a competition…):
Whose posts drew the most comments (highest mean)?
- JohnR, FMH: 124
- ECS, FMH: 85
- Steve Evans, BCC: 79
- John C., BCC: 75
…
It looks like JohnR really stirred up some discussion during his stint at FMH–124 comments per post–nearly half as many more as the #2 person (although ECS did write 27 posts to his 8).
…
Whose posts received the longest comments (highest mean)?
- Keller, M*: 191
- Kiskilili, ZD: 171
- JohnR, FMH: 158 (158.00)
- Wayne L., Mormon Mentality: 158 (157.64)
…
Keller of M* shows up on a lot of these lists. It appears that he writes very long posts that draw a small number of comments, but those comments are also really long. JohnR also appears high on the list here just as he did for number of comments. So he not only drew lots of comments, he also drew long comments.
This is validating for three reasons: 1) I really felt that the invitation to guest post at feminist Mormon housewives was a gift, for all kinds of reasons (it has a huge audience, a perfect balance of respect and controversy, and I was a friggin’ mostly unbelieving male posting on a Mormon feminist blog!). 2) I agonized over how to best use this gift to generate greater understanding and deep dialog. I often lament that controversy and shallow stereotypes generate more attention than careful examination and complexity, but these numbers suggest otherwise (but maybe that’s the nature of the fMh readership). 3) I’m listed with ECS and Kiskilili, two brilliant, brilliant women and two of my favorite bloggers! And Bostonians (loosely) to boot!
The topics that I ultimately decided on and which generated the conversation noted above included discussions of male feminism, the complexity of feminism(s), imagining Heavenly Mother, and eating disorders and self injury. I believe that the last one in particular was helpful to a few struggling souls. I know that I was deeply impressed by some of the stories I heard there, and hope that they either gained strength by sharing their suffering or that they helped others to feel less isolated.
I closed my last post on fMh with the following:
Last summer we stopped going to our LDS ward and began attending the local Quaker meeting. We are becoming more and more involved in that community, but at the same time choose to remain involved in Mormonism, through Sunstone, through supportive LDS friends, and through the Bloggernacle. For all the flak that the Bloggernacle gets, it’s one of the things that keeps marginal Mormons like our family feeling connected to (and valued by segments of) the LDS community.
…I am grateful that my path could intersect with the bloggers, commenters and lurkers in the fMh community. I’ve learned a lot from all of you and am deeply impressed with the respect with which you are able to discuss difficult topics from such diverse perspectives. Most of all, I’m grateful to fMhLisa for this marvelous opportunity to guest blog. I wish you all the best on your respective journeys. Namaste.
My journey over the past year has carried me further away from the Bloggernacle, but I’m still grateful to the women of feminist Mormon housewives, Zelophehad’s Daughters, and the Exponent. Thank you for your kindness to me, and allowing me to participate in your discussions. Thank you for continuing to foster the one space in Mormonism that I feel at home. Namaste.
10 responses so far ↓
1 John // Apr 9, 2008 at 8:28 am
FWIW, I still consider myself 100% feminist. Just not so much Mormon any more.
2 fMhLisa // Apr 9, 2008 at 8:38 am
No, thank you John. You give me hope for all Man-kind. I’ve encountered very few men willing to look their privilege in the eye as unflinchingly at you do, and it means a lot to me that you are willing to share that with the rest of us.
3 Kiskilili // Apr 9, 2008 at 10:43 am
You’re of course always welcome on ZD–we have a particular fondness for feminist heretics.
And your guest-post stint definitely deserved the attention it got. You’re the absolute model male feminist; the bloggernacle needs more people like you.
My own posts are, apparently, not only unusually long, but tend to elicit unusually long comments. What this number crunching doesn’t reveal, though, is that many of those comments I wrote myself. Hmmm . . . embarrassing tendency to navel gaze? I seemingly write extremely long posts and then respond to myself with extremely long comments.
Like you, since I apostatized I feel fairly marginal in the bloggernacle. This isn’t something I either resent or regret–I don’t necessarily share the assumptions that most bloggers bring to the discussion, and definitely don’t share the devotional commitment, so in general I try to confine myself to ZD.
If you ever find yourself in the Boston area again, we should definitely get together!
4 Lessie // Apr 9, 2008 at 3:23 pm
You left out your “Renegotiating Marriage and Faith (Our Journey). That post was key to giving me the strength to walk away from what was becoming a very dangerous religion for me.
And Kiskilili, around the same time, I stumbled on your “My Journey to Apostasy” post. I can’t tell you guys how much it helped to find others who had made the decisions I was considering, and had come out all right on the other side.
And to think Lisa, so many wonderful people would never have found each other if not for you (because my own blogging career began with FMH). You’re incredible.
5 Jana // Apr 9, 2008 at 4:49 pm
John:
I think the significance of these numbers is that your voice is a unique and desirable one within the bloggernacle. I know you don’t feel much like you fit in anymore, but I do hope you’ll continue adding your voice on occasion!
6 xJane // Apr 10, 2008 at 5:59 am
Kiskilili,
I think that’s one of the best things about blogging: the ability to think out loud. Many of these questions (of religion, of gender) require not answers but discussions. I’m not all the way on one side of the fence or the other on either issue, though I consider myself “atheist” and “feminist”. But the more introspective each of us becomes, the better all around.
As the lone ex-Catholic around here, I have to say that I found so many parallels in John’s journey that I stuck around. My mother used to have to tell people that she was not Mormon but Catholic (the six children & pantry were apparently dead giveaways), but there are also similarities in the insularity the religious community creates. MoF is my Weekly Meeting.
7 Ziff // Apr 10, 2008 at 12:50 pm
John, I’m so happy to see that all my number-crunching was actually useful in some small way in spurring you to reflect on your time in the bloggernacle. I echo Kiskilili: you’re always welcome at ZD!
8 Tiffney // Apr 11, 2008 at 9:36 am
It totally makes sense. By default a feminist Mormon or Mormon feminist has to exist on the fringes of the religion. You cannot believe in the equality of men and women and be in line with doctrine.
9 wren // Apr 13, 2008 at 6:30 pm
I agree, Tiffney. It would be difficult to be a feminist and even stay on the fringe. That’s probably why some leave churches altogether or retreat somewhat from their feminist stances to keep a foot in church dogma.
10 Kaimi // Apr 21, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Yes, but I had more words than you did.
(Wait. Is that a good thing?)
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