Charles Darwin was one of the history’s greatest storytellers. Like any worthy author, he was a keen observer, and threaded together seemingly random experiences into a compelling tale that captured the imagination of his contemporaries and is perhaps one of the dominant narratives of our day. Even those who demonize evolution still believe in its power to rearrange our cosmologies. The tale begun on the pages of The Origin of Species is perhaps one of the few stories that has been able to displace the authority and power of the God-story.
We talk a lot about theism/atheism, belief/unbelief, and religion/a-religion here, but I wonder sometimes if it wouldn’t be better to think in terms of the stories that order our lives. As I took years to crawl my way out of Mormonism, my life seem filled with the motif of the distant father: a Heavenly Father who grew colder and rancid over time; Abraham attempting to slay his obedient son (and in some versions, completing the killing stroke); memories of my father disowning me when I joined the LDS Church. I cried when I read the end of Chaim Potok’s The Chosen, which centers in large part on a Hasidic Rabbi’s silent love for his struggling son. I strung all of these together to create a meta-narrative that helped me to come to terms with my declining belief in God the Father, my complex feelings for ecclesiastical father figures, my anger towards my biological father, and my previously inexplicable distance from my own adored son.
That story no longer orders my life the way that it did. If anything, I’ve resisted letting other stories in, though I have many little ones:
- The faint hope that tales of peace will overrun the cacophonous, ubiquitous din of war.
- Obama’s narrative of our ability to break free from politics of division and strife has captured my attention.
- The story of the toiling father who sacrifices his dreams for his family seems to be a little too strong in my life–trying to phase this one out in favor of the story of the family who works together so that each can reach their glorious potential.
- A suspenseful, near-future thriller of a planet at risk–will humanity rise up and avert their creation of a global hell? Or will this story end like a Greek tragedy?
- The tale of a young writer who rises above all obstacles and distractions to become a spinner of ephemeral but unshakable threads on which others can order their lives and their universes.
Enough about me. What narratives have you shaken or outgrown? What new ones are you creating?
5 responses so far ↓
1 Jana (aka pilgrimgirl) // Mar 19, 2008 at 9:04 pm
First one that I’ve shaken:
brave battle with cancer results in heroic ’survivor’ (blech)
Another one:
Women with a “primary face” being an obedient mother in Zion (double blech)
2 Lessie // Mar 20, 2008 at 7:24 am
One that I’ve finally shaken is the idea that raising children will fulfill me. It turns out, raising children is about fulfilling them, not me. So if I want fulfillment, I’m going to have to look elsewhere.
Another one that I’ve shaken is that one’s worthiness surrounds things like appearance, diet, underwear, etc. Come on folks, it’s all about fostering kindness and peace. And you can do that in a tank top with an eyebrow piercing just as well as you can do that in a “modest” dress.
New ones that I’m creating for myself? Well, since I still fall more on the agnostic line, the idea that if there is a salvation to be had, then it revolves around above said fostering of compassion, kindness, peace etc. And that while prayers are nice things to do (as far as perhaps sending some positive energy in one’s direction), usually there are more immediate things one can do. Even if it is only on a family or community level.
And Jana, I think it’s interesting how you mentioned your battle with cancer and the heroism that people equate with it. My youngest son was born blind and it’s weird how many people automatically assume that my hubby and I must be super parents for having been given a blind child (or that said child is any more special than our sighted child). The narrative that I’ve been building around this experience is that sometimes crappy things happen, and you just deal with them to the best of your ability.
3 wren // Mar 20, 2008 at 7:38 am
Shaken:
My ultimate purpose is to be a wife and mother throughout all eternity.
Stirred:
Maybe we can evolve collectively to the point where our egos drive fewer actions and instead we are motivated by compassion.
4 xJane // Mar 21, 2008 at 6:44 am
Like the man, the boy, and their donkey I have finally learned that I cannot please everyone without losing something vital. I’m trying to live with more honesty to myself, not allowing others’ desires to rule me.
I’d like to start to live with fewer of my own desires ruling me; especially things like material desires.
5 xJane // Mar 21, 2008 at 9:59 pm
I just went into a skate shop with my half-brother-in-law (he’s visiting, and wanted a hat) while wearing Horton-Hears-a-Who-ears (we had just seen it and they came with the ticket). It solidified in my mind the fact that, if we’re comfortable with who we are (the crazy girl in the elephant ears), most people (even skaters) will be comfortable with it, too. Being comfortable in my own skin. That’s a new one.
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