I think that the discussion over at Isaac’s post deserves another forum. I’m very interested in y’all’s experiences (hat-tip to my Southern linguistic roots) experiences with baptism. When you were welcomed into your (current or any number of former) church, what was the ritual of welcoming? What did you think about it? Did you stand in a circle, “Hi, my name is xJane & I’m an atheist” and get acknowledged by the group, “Hi, xJane!”? Did you merely wander in one day & never leave?
Isaac asked about Baptism & Confirmation and he’s right, Catholics believe in early infant baptism, where the parents & godparents answer on behalf of the child. The questions are fairly general & probably none that I would really disagree with (Do you reject Satan, you accept Jesus) except in a general I-don’t-believe-in-God,-thank-you kind of way. Now, Horia might disagree with me on this, but none of this is especially damaging in itself. I know a lot of children who get baptized and go on to live normal (atheist) lives. I just don’t know any in my immediate family.
When I got confirmed, I didn’t honestly feel like I had any more choice in the matter than I had at my baptism. I’d managed to avoid it successfully for a while (it was part of the high school curriculum where my sisters all went, how creepy is that?!), but when it came down to it, it felt like acceptance into the (very small) community at the Church we attended. There were maybe 25 regulars at this church, which had changed very little over the years since I was baptized. I chose a sponsor, who I believed lived the kind of religious life I looked forward to at that point in my life: went to church on Sundays with his wife, but didn’t really think about god at any other time. That was the closest to atheist I thought I would ever be. And then I got asked the same questions and felt guilty for answering them all “yes” (the great thing about these rites is you can do them in your sleep). I don’t remember getting punched, although my mother prepared me for the eventuality.
And that was it. I was confirmed. Years later, when I told my parents & sisters that I was no longer Catholic, this was brought up: but you got confirmed! And that’s when they told me that one of my sisters, in her confirmation class was told, “If this is something you think your parents are making you do, or if you’re only doing this out of a sense of obligation, don’t do it.” She got up & left. Years later, when she wanted to be married in the church, she had to get confirmed & her sponsor was her husband. But at that time, it was something she wanted for herself (or, maybe still for her parents: to be married in the church, I guess I don’t know), an adult choice made without pressure.
Her oldest daughter is my goddaughter. And of all the nieces & nephews I have, I’m glad it’s one of hers. I don’t care if my goddaughter grows up religious or atheist, so long as she’s happy and unmilitant. The only value I’d like to instill in her is that of live-and-let-live. With perhaps a side note of to-thine-own-self-be-true.
My mother-in-law has a goddaughter, which cracks me up because she and the parents are all atheist/Buddhist/feminist. They had some kind of a baptismal rite for her that welcomed her into the community, acknowledged her presence on the earth, and named her as family. They had a menarch ceremony for her where her position was reiterated, although I don’t know what kind of choice she had about that. I don’t know if they have planned for her any kind of confirmation, but these rites acknowledge the fundamental use of baptism: to welcome new members into the community.
I’m interested in what kinds of welcoming ceremonies took place in your respective faiths & former faiths. If you converted to a religion, what kind of baptism did you undergo? If you were born into it, what kind of baptism? And what, do you think, we can do as atheists to acknowledge new members, be they converts or infants?
5 responses so far ↓
1 Lessie // Feb 28, 2008 at 2:12 pm
I was eight when I was baptized. I remember going to see my bishop so he could interview me (although the only question I remember him asking is what does baptism do and I said wash away my sins). I was nervous about getting baptized (I think more because of the big crowd of spectators than anything). I remember crying a lot about it and my mom asking me “Don’t you want to get baptized?” and me thinking “I don’t know” but I said yes anyway. I was baptized in February, and the water heater at church went out or something and so the water was really cold in the font. There were also two other children being baptized that night and I remember the other girl and I doing a thing we called “the funky chicken” cause we were so cold. The little boy that was baptized had to go under three times because his feet kept floating out of the water. I also remember feeling a little guilty that I didn’t have any life changing revelations (and lying about feeling all warm and fuzzy when I received the Holy Ghost–okay, so maybe I lied more often than I thought as a child). I remember I received my first journal and set of scriptures for a gift commemorating the occasion. Not very complex, but I was only eight, so things weren’t overly complex for me yet.
2 wren // Feb 28, 2008 at 4:13 pm
I was baptized as a baby. I couldn’t even tell you what church. I was confirmed as a Lutheran in 8th grade after 2 years of midweek classes memorizing Martin Luther’s interpretation of the apostles creed and why astrology, tarot cards, and the Catholics are wrong and the triune God is the only right way. Oh yeah, and memorizing a lot of uplifting verses like “The wages of sin is DEATH” (cue the ominous music). I don’t remember anyone asking me if I wanted to be confirmed. It was just expected.
At 25 I was baptized lds, I told no one in my family for at least a year or so. Actually, I’m not sure if I ever told them I was baptised. It was at least a year before I told them I was a member, anyway. So I knew no one there except the missionaries. A member of the bishopric welcomed me. Probably the best ‘welcoming’ thing was the new member discussions.
Personally, I don’t know about kids becoming official members of churches. I side with the Anabaptists like the Mennonites and Amish. It was definitely a conscious choice as an adult.
PS, I think you meant to use the word “except” instead of “accept” in the second paragraph… changes the meaning entirely!
3 Samuel Skinner // Feb 29, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Never baptised- my parents have two religious backrounds, but they were essentially atheists. The bright side is I got to sets of holidays.
Welcoming atheists… we can give cookies. I mean it is in the motto “join us- we have cookies!” Aside from that I can’t imagine a deconversion ceremony- the downside of lacking a belief is you don’t have a common belief. Maybe there could be a ceremony for antitheists, but I can’t imagine that going over well.
4 Mark // Mar 1, 2008 at 7:43 am
Your post made me think of the Catholic rite of baptisam. Did you know that he prayer that the priest recites during this rite is the same prayer that is recited during an exorcisam? True, the belief is that until the child is baptized the devil may possess the child. Interesting isn’t it.
5 xJane // Mar 2, 2008 at 9:33 am
Wren: you are correct (I must have been thinking “accept Jesus” b/c it took me three re-readings of the paragraph to realize the mistake). I shall change it
Mark: I had read that, too, which is kinda funny to me. Although, I guess it makes sense: no matter how much you want to
exceptaccept Jesus, Satan has to be formally removed first.Leave a Comment