Comments on: Leaving the Garden: Lessie’s Journey

By: wren

wren — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 04:38:27 +0000

I second that about the church teaching me things that ultimately led me away. One thing I’ve found is more “true” for me outside than in is that I feel honestly free to embrace this from the 13th article of faith: “…If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.”

Some years back I owned a compilation of talks from BYU women’s conferences over the course of 25 years. I was surprised to find references to non-KJV bibles and encouragement to read various non-standard works literature in early talks. There was nothing of the sort in the 90′s and 00′s talks.

As the education counselor in RS, I was told to make sure I told those called to teach that it was best to stick with church approved materials for lessons. So much for seeking.

By: Lessie

Lessie — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 04:03:11 +0000

Elise, I’m glad I’m not the only one. I just don’t know how to explain it to people who don’t seem to see the same problems.

By: Elise

Elise — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 01:33:36 +0000

“Ironically, the integrity that the church had taught me was what made me decide to leave”

I’ve felt exactly like that!

And, I think it is beautiful what you said about choosing to be engaged with others rather than salvation, if the choice had to be made….more people in the world who felt that way openly is probably the best way to save the world in the end, anyway.

By: Lessie

Lessie — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 01:26:21 +0000

Wren, I’ve heard that the idea of Utah’s antidepressant rate doesn’t really have to do with LDS women, but I don’t have a link to the article that supposedly debunked it, so who knows. I think that dogmatic religions cause a lot of cognitive dissonance for women who know inside themselves that they have a lot to offer the world but who are told that their salvation rests in repressing those things.

D’Arcy I’m glad this was helpful to you. I hope your questioning eventually brings you peace–regardless of where it leads you.

By: D'Arcy

D'Arcy — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 00:21:31 +0000

Lessie, Thank you for your beautiful life stories. I happened upon this blog after reading Exponent II. I am currently active in the LDS faith, meaning I attend my meetings and perform my calling, but have been widely questioning the whole process of why I shouldn’t be questioning. I don’t understand the fear behind the questions, and feel that my whole life I have questioned authority, women’s roles, and especially my seemingly sole call to be a mother and a caregiver to others. I think any religion or non-religion, should embrace the questions and not fear them. I’m figuring things out on a whole different level lately and appreciate people who can be honest and real about the paths their lives have taken. Thank you.

By: wren

wren — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 22:03:47 +0000

I used to see a therapist at an office in which I saw a lot of lds people in the waiting room. Most of them I didn’t know, I’d either seen them at the stake center or had a feeling and saw the tell tale g-lines. I found this odd given that it’s not as though the midwest has a high concentration of lds. So to see so many there (and there was no lds therapist there) was strange. I brought up that, along with Utah’s high rate of women on anti-depressants with an lds friend. Where I wondered if there was a correlation with religion, she spun it as the lds were possibly more pro-active in taking care of their health. There may be some truth to that but I certainly never found a leader who supported therapy unless it was with someone affiliated with lds social services.

I once brought up the number of lds I was seeing at the office with my therapist. That’s when I asked her if there was a Mormon working there. She said no and went on to say that a lot of women in therapy were/are in very “dogmatic” churches .

By: Lessie

Lessie — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 18:42:46 +0000

xJane, thanks. I agree that the discouragement of questions is somewhat puzzling–can’t their god take a little bit of questioning?

chandelle, to further the irony, the councilor was LDS and worked on campus.

By: chandelle

chandelle — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 17:38:16 +0000

lessie, wonderful post. i wanted to comment that i think it’s so interesting that your chosen method of therapy was a catalyst for the questioning that ultimately led you away from the church. that is, after all, exactly what the church fears about psychiatry/psychology, outside of LDS SS. you’re just proving a point for them there, sister.

i wish you lived closer to me.

By: xJane

xJane — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 15:49:31 +0000

A beautiful discussion of what I think all of us who have left religion struggled with: inability to ask questions that were important to us. Whether or not it is true, this always left me with the sense that the reason we’re not encouraged to ask/doubt is because religion has no good answers.

I love this: “I could no longer be honest with myself by going.” Here’s to honesty in all things.