Atheists visiting here for the first time–Welcome! You may also enjoy this post:
In the beginning1 was Cephalopod.
And ‘Pod said, let there be light.
And the Bartender said, Havest thou instead the stout2.
And ‘Pod tasted the brew, that it was good.
After the first beer, ‘Pod spawned the first freethinkers. And behold, they brought forth rational discussions amongst themselves in great abundance:
*Bad Idea explains why atheism is incidental to his rationalism and skepticism in What’s Best for Atheism Isn’t What’s Best.
*Greta Christina confronts the inevitable human tendency (even among skeptics) to justify the irrational in two posts: Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts and Defensiveness, Rationalization, Mulishness… What Does That Have To Do With Religion? Mistakes Were Made, Part 2
In God is Dead, Kevin explains that Nietzsche was criticizing atheists for still clinging to the godly.
And this was the beginning and end of the first beer.
And ‘Pod listened to their many words and knew that they were good. And behold, ‘Pod was well pleased with itself and ordered another beer.
And ‘Pod said, Behold, I am well pleased with myself, but this bar is a friendly place. I shall send forth the freethinkers to be tested.
And it came to pass that ‘Pod sent forth the freethinkers to live in a world filled with strange superstitions and belief in even stranger gods.
And behold, many of the freethinkers did well for themselves:
The Liberal Debutante shares how atheism has improved her life in Positive Contact.
In Evolving, A Mind, Moody attacks the religious indoctrination of children, arguing, among other things that it is “horrifically despicable to inflict upon a child the notion of damnation.”
Isla talks about the satisfaction that comes from reality and authenticity in I believe in me.
And this was the beginning and the end of the second beer.
And ‘Pod was bored because it had sent away all of its freethinking friends, and there is nothing good on TV, for the Writers and Producers continued to forsake each other. And ‘Pod said, Let there be a book full of contradictions, anachronisms and archaisms and let it be called it the Bible, for verily, I am crazy like that.
And it came to pass that many worshiped the book and carried it to every corner of the earth, which really had no corners, being a squat spheroid, but this did not deter the many followers of the Bible.
Behold, the skeptics met the onslaught of the believers with the scientific method, intelligent questions and historical analysis:
*In A week of scriptures, Heathen Dan celebrates “National Bible Week” by performing excellent and approachable critical analysis of various biblical stories through a series of seven posts. (Also, his image is a massive composite of album covers )
The Spanish Inquisitor also takes on the Bible in …For The Bible Tells Me So.
And this was the beginning and the end of the third beer.
And ‘Pod said, Behold, that was fun. Verily, I shall mess with the heads of people some more. Let there be fundamentalist believers in political power throughout the world. Let them commit all manner of atrocities, yea, even burning embassies, passing Christian bills in secular governments, and voting for Mitt Romney.
Behold, once again, the freethinkers defended their political liberties through the application of wisdom and careful argument:
*ronbrown eloquently argues for the defense of freedom of speech even in the face of possible violence in “Freedom of expression doesn’t mean the right to offend”; Dutch government bracing self for violent Muslim protest to anti-Muslim film
In Dinesh D’Souza Spreads Dishonest Propaganda…Again, Kelly undermines support for HR888 by exploring, in detail, Christianity’s historical defense in the U.S. for abominable institutions like slavery.
vJack distinguishes between Christian fundamentalism, extremism, and terrorism in What Is Christian Extremism?
Ron dissects a couple of political analysis articles and pessimistically prognosticates The Two Factors That Will Give Us a Republican President.
Hallq wonders why corrupt faith healers and prosperity gospel advocates aren’t be prosecuted in: Religious believers–too stupid to be protected by law?
And this was the beginning and the end of the fourth beer.
And ‘Pod ordered yet another. And the Bartender said, Have you not had enough? For behold, are ye not shit-faced?
And ‘Pod slurred, Nay, let there be another beer. And ‘Pod sent forth a multitude of plagues of unreason, harmful superstition and bigotry.
And it came to pass that as ‘Pod waved its tentacles with glee, that the atheists stood up in force and one among them said:
Let us be strong in logic, and in the power of the scientific method.
Put on the whole armor of reason, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the dogmatic.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the irrational ideas of the televangelists, creationists, and Jesus Camp graduates and against those who desire to hasten the end of the world, and against religious intolerance in high places.
Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of intelligence;
And your feet shod with the scientific method;
Above all, taking the shield of logic, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the superstitious.
And thus prepared, rushed into battle with the forces of theism once again:
The Chaplain argues eloquently that religion’s negative influence outweighs the good in What’s So Bad About Religion?
Daniel takes on the French mathematician and philosopher in Pascal’s wager. Recommended reading for anyone’s who’s considering the famous gamble.
In The Monty Hall Riddle and Atheism, Tatarize gives us another take on the God wager, this time using the game show metaphor.
A.C. Chase muses on the Orwellian nature of the math implied by the doctrine of the Trinity in The Holy Trinity: Revealed Mathematics.
Mike White ponders the nature of free will, and its relationship to religion in How much Freedom do we Have?
Evanescent warns us of the dangers of the apocalyptic world view in The Eschatology Ideology.
And this was the beginning and end of the fifth beer.
And ‘Pod was laughing drunkenly. And behold, when it looked upon the Bartender, it saw not one, but three blurry, continually moving Bartenders. Nevertheless, ‘Pod said, Let there be another beer. And the Bartender reluctantly provided, but only after he taketh ‘Pod’s keys.
And ‘Pod slurred, Lissssten, if you thought that was hilariousss, behold thisss great challenge: Let there be men and women acrossss the land who claim to heal sicknessss through faith thereby taking advantage of the dessssperately ill.
And then it came to pass that ‘Pod let out a mighty belch.
Once again, the freethinkers responded:
*The Whited Sepulchre links to this powerful (and very disturbing) mashup video: Benny Hinn: “Let The Bodies Hit The Floor”
Evolved critiques miraculous healing in Faith Healing, does it actually work?
And this was the beginning and the end of the fifth beer.
And the Bartender said, That is pretty fucked up.
And the freethinkers said, Yea, that is pretty fucked up.
And the atheists and skeptics and the freethinkers created the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and sent his Noodliness to attack ‘Pod. Behold, there was a mighty drunken brawl and titanic fragments of pasta and tentacle were scattered across the surface of the earth. No one knoweth who won, for the Bartender spake not concerning the matter.
But it did come to pass that many feasted on delicious calamari and spaghetti for many days.
From No More Mr. Nice Guy:
I wish they knew how to quit religion
From the Gaytheist Agenda:
Court ends Bible distribution in school.
Parable of the Eternal Prisoner
1. There is considerable debate among scholars over the meaning of “beginning.” Most of the discussion revolves around the question, “The beginning of what, exactly?” Some scholars argue that “Beginning” refers to the name of the bar. back
2. This reference to a stout has lead some scholars to refer to this text as the “Book of Guinness,” but mostly in informal debates in pubs, and not in the scholarly literature .back