In the religion news world, everyone and their dog–hell, even their cats and the family hamster–are all buzz about Mitt Romney’s Big Religion Speech this Thursday. MSNBC calls it ‘The Speech’, and most blame Huckabee (gee thanks, Huckabee). Some, like this Times of London article, hint at subtle comparisons to Kennedy’s big Catholicism speech:

Mitt Romney Gambles on JFK Moment to Stay in the Battle to be President

Other than the hair and the Massachusetts connection, I just can’t imagine that much overlap between JFK and Mitt. I decided to pull out (via Google) Kennedy’s original address to the Southern Baptist leaders of the Greater Houston Ministerial Association. I’m going to pull some quotes completely out of context, and I want you to picture Mitt delivering these to a Bible and pitchfork wielding audience:

These are the real issues which should decide this campaign. And they are not religious issues…

I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute…and no Protestant minister would tell his parishioners for whom to vote — where no church or church school is granted any public funds or political preference.

I believe in an America that is officially neither Catholic, Protestant nor Jewish…where no religious body seeks to impose its will directly or indirectly upon the general populace or the public acts of its officials — and where religious liberty is so indivisible that an act against one church is treated as an act against all.

Finally, I believe in an America where…where there is no Catholic vote, no anti-Catholic vote, no bloc voting of any kind — and where Catholics, Protestants and Jews…will refrain from those attitudes of disdain and division which have so often marred their works in the past, and promote instead the American ideal of brotherhood.

I believe in a President whose views on religion are his own private affair, neither imposed upon him by the nation or imposed by the nation upon him as a condition to holding that office.

I ask you…to judge me on the basis of fourteen years in the Congress — on my declared stands against an ambassador to the Vatican, against unconstitutional aid to parochial schools, and against any boycott of the public schools

Whatever issue may come before me as President, if I should be elected — on birth control, divorce, censorship, gambling, or any other subject — I will make my decision in accordance with these views, in accordance with what my conscience tells me to be in the national interest, and without regard to outside religious pressure or dictate.

In the current climate, no Republican vying for the conservative Christian vote could emphasize separation between religion and electoral office to this extent without slitting their political wrists. The Christian Right is profoundly aware of the power of their voting bloc, and will not accept any candidate who declared political independence from faith.

I can guarantee that, in spite of his lip service to JFK’s “definitive” speech, Romney will essentially be Kennedy’s polar opposite. Unlike Kennedy, Romney has to prove that he can be more pro-life, pro-torture, anti-gay and more pro-God than the other Republican candidates out there. He has to out-Christian all the rest. And I think he’s going to do this by glossing over differences between Mormons and Christians, instead of confronting them head-on. He’s going to try to convince the Republican evangelical Christian voter that the overlap between the two is what matters in the political arena, if not in the theological realm. (As a side note, he’ll probably appeal to his pioneer heritage and generic high-minded American ideals as well.)

Whatever JFK’s faults were, he backed his eloquence with vision and backbone. I’m not sure that Romney has what it takes to pull off the same feat.