Jana just sent me this link (it’s from 2002, but it’s new to me, and hopefully to you) to a 160 character, text-messagized version of the Lord’ Prayer. This was the winning submission of a contest sponsored by Ship of Fools Magazine:

dad@hvn,ur spshl.we want wot u want&urth2b like hvn.giv us food&4giv r sins lyk we 4giv uvaz.don't test us!save us!bcos we kno ur boss,ur tuf&ur cool 4 eva!ok?

If you find that you need to text more than just the Lord’s Prayer, Simon Jenkins (Ship of Fools editor) has condensed much of the Bible for you. Instead of getting thumb cramps and callouses typing (Exodus 20:8-11, KJV):

Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.

Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:

But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates:

For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.

You can use Jenkins’ up2 d8 version:

Day7holy.

This isn’t as short, but the lolCat translation has inspired more Remy Bible immersion than anything else in the past month or two (thanks to the several of you who let me know about the lolCat Bible):

Remembur caturday An keep holy. U werk 6 dais An finish werk, K? Caturday, u no werk. U An all ur peepz go wrship me. I maded heavenz An erth An see An the stuff that does teh funney hoppey stuffz in An on it - so I make it holy cuz I no werk.

Can u B leev, er, can you believe that the whole Bible is being translated into lolCatese (aka kitty pidgin)? Ah, the miracle of community-sourcing!

Teh blessigs of teh Ceiling Cat b pwn u, lol!