Ironically, this is exactly what happened to two brothers who ran a Pakistani version of The Onion. In response to the bounty on Osama bin Laden, Abdullah and Badr al-Noami wrote a satirical article that put a $100 price (in Afghani dollars) on the head of then President Clinton and listed Monica Lewinsky as one of his identifying characteristics. In another article, they poked fun at a local cleric, who set the Americans on them and got them a free (hooded) plane ride and three years in Gitmo before they were released. Fortunately, these two young men never lost their sense of humor (when asked by the Americans during interrogations if Abdullah wanted to leave their prison, he would answer, “No, thanks, I don’t want to go home. I’m okay here. I like you so much, I don’t want to leave you.”)

The stories of the al-Noami brothers and others like them (who the President and VP assert have been captured on battlefields) can be heard on this episode (mp3 link) of This American Life. Chicago Public Radio is offering a free download of “Habeas, Schmabeas” for a limited time.  It’s one of the only podcast episodes I’ve listened to twice. Every bit of it is very well done, but one of the most memorable segments is a look by a British documentarian at the last time the Brits suspended Habeas Corpus in the 1600s. Here are a couple of highlights:

There were two sides. You’ve got the monarchists, and then you’ve got the Puritans, who murdered the king because they saw the kingdom as debauched and decadent. Now, I know you Americans see Puritans as kindly settlers constantly sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner. We see them as bastards. They were religious fundamentalists…The Puritans had been vicious; they had killed the king. And many of the men who had done it were still at large, plotting out there.

I wanted to include that because it completely twists our perception of Puritans. Our eloquent British friends are essentially equating them with Al Qaeda.  Here’s the punch line:

And remember, democracy as we know it is still centuries away. Innocent until proven guilty, one man one vote — only the most extreme radicals held these views. These were dark times. There were heads on spikes all over London and still, the people were shocked by Clarendon’s disregard for habeas corpus.

Even the worst monarchs of England had to at least pay lip service to the HC.  I’m ashamed to admit that I didn’t have a good grasp of what habeas corpus was before listening to this program. I suspect that many other Americans don’t either, which is one reason why we didn’t get that the suspension of Habeas Corpus rights, especially of “enemy combatants” is A Big Deal. In Anglo-American law, it is perhaps the most fundamental right.