I am not Buddhist, except in the Japanese cultural sense, which involves a lot of incense and cute statues and little meditation.  Belief in karma, deities, salvation, etc., is optional.  That said, I get a lot of mileage from Buddhist concepts.  One of these is attachment.
I use attachment to indicate those things that I could really do without, but which are hard to shake–those tenacious anxieties, compulsions, obsessions, addictions that hang on like a sticky booger.¬† I’m obsessed with getting a new green, iPod nano, though my first generation nano serves me just fine.¬† I passively bear grudges against a few people that explode aggressively when I least expect it.¬† I want to talk about leaving Mormonism, just one more time.¬† I take little molehills of worries and build them into impressive, Mount Fuji-sized burdens.
So for the next week, my mantra will be: Let Go!  If I catch myself obsessing, passive-aggressiving, whining, pining, salivating, or worrying, I will chant letgoletgoletgoletgoletgoletgoletgoletgoletgo until I do.
If you all have successfully let go of some persistent attachment, please, inspire me.
7 responses so far ↓
1 nee // Apr 11, 2007 at 9:20 pm
1) Meditation, lots of it.
2) When the recognition of attachments continues to come up, in meditation or otherwise, not labeling them as good or bad, only acknowledging them and then redirecting thought back to something more skillful or better yet, now.
I know most of what you’re referring to his general attachments.
With regards to specific attachments, I’ll share a moment I had last weekend wherein a worrisome thought was plaguing me. It started consuming every neuron, it seemed, in my brain. To let it go, I had to bring myself to now, the present, immediately. I mentally asked myself to describe everything around me using all of my senses. I was lying in bed.
I mentally chronicled the shadows of blades I saw on the ceiling, the number of birds I could hear outside, the lack of smell in the room as I’d given my dog a bath last week, the taste of, well, morning breath, and the weight of the extra blankets on the bed (winter has made a resurgence in the midwest).
As I brought myself around to these things, I found myself instead of worrying, coming back to the birds. Was there a pattern to this conversation? How long did it take for the louder one to get a response? What might they be talking about? Then I moved a leg slightly to over. Yikes, that part of the bed is chilly!
That was a small attachment. Some things have taken longer. Some things I still need to let go of. I’ve found the greatest tool I have in sloughing off the tougher things is to accept myself and be okay with me and the process, even when it’s stalled.
2 Tammy Takahashi // Apr 11, 2007 at 10:11 pm
Oh boy. I could write a book on this topic.
Attachment. Expectations. Judgements. Wanting things to be a certain way. Not wanting things to change. Holding on to anger and fear because it keeps us from having to face ourselves.
Disattachement. Forgiveness. Allowing ourselves to feel the fear and anger and not run from it. Acceptance. Watching change without judgement. Seeing how our own perceptions create “bad” or “good”. Living in the now. Appreciating what is.
I find it hard to let go when I’m in the throes of pain. The only thing I can do is either fight the pain, or feel the pain. When I allow myself to feel it, and be honest, it can come, and then go, much faster. When I fight it, it takes longer.
Sometimes, it takes time to sit with my attachments before I can finally let them go. Even just saying, “I’m stuck on XYZ” and sitting with that gives me insight on allowing myself to let it go.
I find, I obsess over things longer when I try to justify it, or defend myself. When I try to find a reason why I *should* feel that way, I always find it…and I can’t let go.
If I have an attachment that is taking over my life - and it has happened - forgiving myself is the first step. Takes me a long time to get to that step though. Then, sitting with the feelings and just letting myself feel. Not try to explain it, or make it OK. It isn’t OK or not OK - it just is.
I also find talking about it helps. Just saying it out loud - “I’m attached to XYZ” to someone else - it makes it more obvious how it’s screwing me up. And how illogical it is to be so attached. Things that are in my head seem so much more important than things I write or say. Once it’s out, it’s often not nearly as justifiable as it was when I was thinking it.
All that said, there are still things I am attached to, and I don’t know, I might always be attached to. Perhaps, part of it is to accept ourselves as we are - even with our attachments. And to be honest with ourselves about being attached. Or maybe, to forgive ourselves for being attached in the first place? Because it’s human.
I could go on forever about this. I’ll hang it up here. Thanks for the Wed. challenge.
3 Mark // Apr 12, 2007 at 9:53 am
Letting go is the key to the path of your personal freedom. You do not let go for you fear what you might lose. Yet, if you lost it, you never had it to begin with or you no longer needed it.
Your ego is your biggest barrier in learning to let go.
I have written a few arcticles on letting go. Stop by my blog and read them, they may help.
4 Miko // Apr 12, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Yeah…I need a lot more detachment in my life (she says, while typing on a rather expensive object of attachment). I don’t know if I can offer any inspiration other than encouragement. The world is a better place everytime someone improves themselves.
5 Elise // Apr 12, 2007 at 9:37 pm
I know this is the opposite of the trendy meditation answer, but crazy-busy-ness is generally my key to letting go…..
It sounds backward, however, sometimes losing myself in activity works better than losing myself in silence/rest. Certain hobbies help me with that letting go thing - working out, reading, shopping (I feel like I shouldn’t admit that, but it’s totally true….), and cleaning/housewokr/yardwork.
When I do want to let go in silence, the beach or the mountains are where I like to go.
6 Miko // Apr 14, 2007 at 10:47 am
Elise: I totally feel you. I wish I meditated more but my mind just doesn’t stop. I’ve found that moving meditation works best: tai chi, judo, yoga, even hiking. When I’m doing something with my body, my mind stops, but if my body stops, my mind takes off.
7 Miko // Apr 14, 2007 at 9:18 pm
Incidentally, while surfing today, I found a website devoted to furthering one’s meditative practice while on a bike.
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