My mother and I used to fly to NYC to go to musicals. London was closer, but this was before our discovery of it, and of the Mousetrap. I had a sister who lived there, then; we would stay with her. Usually we had an additional excuse to be there, visiting the sister, for example, an extended layover, &c. Before we went to see Les Mis, my mom made me read it. I read the “abridged” version (in English) but it was still two inches thick. I didn’t really get it and, therefore, didn’t enjoy it. But I fell in love with the musical (opera, really) and got the two-CD set (there was a four and, I believe, a six and an eight version). The bits that really made an impact on me, though, were the patriotic bits, rather than the futility of man bits.
I rediscovered my CD a few days ago and have been listening it to it as though I were, again, 15 and discovering it for the first time. But this time around, the patriotic bits are less interesting to me than the futility of man bits.
My husband and I are getting ready to have an unThanksgiving party for 15 on Saturday. This means that we’ve been cleaning up our apartment, getting rid of stuff, and buying other stuff…I went to a local thrift store (great place to drop of and pick up stuff) to drop of the last box of stuff-we-no-longer-need and to pick up some punch cups. There was an older couple rooting through the boxes and dumpsters of stuff people had donated. They asked me to give them some of the stuff from my box, since they technically weren’t supposed to be taking stuff that had already been donated. I was happy to do this: got rid of a stringless toy guitar, some only-worn-a-few-times sports shoes, and a flannel nightgown my mother is convinced I love. Then somebody yelled from inside the store and the two of them scattered.
I’m afraid to calculate all the money I’ve spent in the last few weeks (a fair amount was on stuff I’ll use again, so I’m not too worried), and I’m really looking forward to tomorrow. But the image of those two people, scrounging for a few things to wear, to give to their children perhaps, to keep them warm, haunts me as I soak two geese, as I wash new (used) punch cups, and as I contemplate whether or not to make cushions for the new chairs.
As the holiday season looms and thoughts of gifts to give and gifts to ask for, I remember that I’m one lucky bitch. Undeserving of the charmed life I live.
10 responses so far ↓
1 John // Nov 17, 2006 at 2:30 pm
I feel like one lucky SOB myself. Our family makes feeble attempts to remove ourselves from the cycle of consumption (with notable failures, like my book and gadget habit). Many of the non-profits these days have things very neatly quantified as well: $4 feeds a street child in Calcutta for a week, $40 to equip a classroom in Afghanistan, $1600 builds a well for a village that lacks nearby potable water, saving them from disease, giving water carriers more time to focus on other subsistence tasks. That’s a latt?©, a pair of jeans, a new laptop. There’s a dissonance between the two that I often just ignore so that I’m not hamstrung by guilt. Do you experience this? How are we supposed to resolve these things?
2 Miko // Nov 17, 2006 at 3:27 pm
k, that made me cry…
A few of my sisters buy an ark for xmas each year and give various people in their lives cards that say where the money for an otherwise useless but heartfelt gift went. I think it’s beautiful and, while I cannot afford a whole ark, really would like to do things like that.
My husband and I ran into this when we got married (we asked for donations to a few good, liberal causes): does anyone know any similar causes that have no religious bent? I’d rather that water or food not be contigent on rosaries or bibles.
Incidentally, the first year I did this, I made two geese, which was one too many. There’s a place here in town that I called and dropped it off at. They didn’t seem concerned (as most places did) that it was already cooked (as opposed to sealed & therefore presumably not poisoned). I’d like to have such whole leftovers again. Maybe I’ll call them and see if they want me to volunteer near the holidays.
3 Jonathan // Nov 17, 2006 at 7:12 pm
It made me cry too. Sarah has such a great heart. This is the 3rd or 4th time I saw her video. Her song still sends shivers down my spine when I listed to it.
4 pilgrimgirl // Nov 17, 2006 at 11:47 pm
Reg:
Daily I feel the pull of my good fortune and desire to share my abundance with others. At the same time I feel such a hypocrite for the luxury that I live in. That’s one reason I am so enthusiastic about Freecycle (www.freecycle.org), as it gives me an opportunity to share my abundance with others (without the Goodwill middleman). I also have given donations to Heifer. org and to seva.org as holiday gifts. As Mormons we went without a meal each month and donated the money we would have spent on food to charity. It’s a great way to serve and fills me with gratitude. Such an easy thing to skip one meal!
Speaking of meals, looking forward to a very special one tomorrow at your place!!
5 Elise // Nov 18, 2006 at 1:30 pm
Ditto what everyone else has said…….My husband and I make feeble attempts to share our abundance too, and although we are not nearly as diligent as many on this blog, it helps us remember how much we have and to have gratitude.
The idea that there are so many people out there actually going hungry or going without clean water is very intangible to me. I’ve never seen it, I’ve never experienced, and it is a difficult concept for me to actualize as real. Miko, I’m glad you told us about the couple you saw at Goodwill - a couple looking for toys for their children in Los Angeles hits a lot closer to home for me.
I think there are other types of good fortune that we have and that can be easily shared locally (not to minimize the sharing of food, clothing, etc which is of course very important). Living in a society that is so fast-paced and busy and medicated and money driven often leaves much to be desired. I know that moving to CA a year ago and not immediately partaking of an institutionalized religion left me a bit lonely and wondering how to find friends. The people I’ve met - mostly here on this blog - and a few elsewhere that have reached out and provided friendship, companionship, and a helping hand to rely on have been just as appreciated in my mind as if I were hungry and someone gave me a meal. I have a coworker whose neighbors are two full-time working parents with four kids - she takes the kids once or twice a month for a Saturday just to give the parents some time to themselves and to do those little tasks around the house that are difficult with kids underfoot. She isn’t sharing anything material - just her time - but to those parents, the gift of time together is important in the same way that clothing is to someone without.
Ok, sorry to ramble so long - I suppose what I’m really trying to say is, while we help others at home and far away with their material needs, I’m also very glad we can help out with less tangible needs as well. A lot of our neighbors and co-workers and friends are hungry for something - even if that something is love/peace/time/friendship/________, and not food or shelter.
6 Miko // Nov 19, 2006 at 1:56 pm
Elise: you’re very right. There is poor in spirit and poor in…material…okay, I don’t remember my beatitudes, but there is certainly more to being generous than simply donating money or time. Perhaps the greatest donation of all is of love and acceptance. We could all use more of that, neh?
7 Jonathan // Nov 20, 2006 at 8:58 am
The donation of love/peace/time/friendship has been easy for me, and I think has the most value in some cases, as Elise and Miko discussed earlier) but the donation of money has been extremely hard for me since my church experience. It has badly polluted the connection between the spiritual life and monetary charity. The only money I ever heard that pastor ask for was for a new gym and a new parking lot. He or someone would use heavy guilt-trip inducing language in bulletins and posters to get people into giving to these things. Any other charity was NEVER mentioned or announced in my 2 year stay there. I turned into the most miserly person during my stay there.
I recently received a mailer from the same church saying something along the lines of, “If you have any value for the tireless service of our fine pastor XYZ for your endless spiritual needs, then you will give money to send him on an Alaskan cruise. I looked at the church budget. This guy pays no taxes on his house or income, and he makes more than my wife and I combined. I think I’d donate if it were a one way trip. I know my spiritual life would then improve.
Anyway, I am trying to repair that connection again. It’s so very hard.
8 Miko // Nov 20, 2006 at 10:38 am
I, too, have difficulty giving money as an extension of help. When it comes to the beggar-on-the-street I would liefer give him food than money, but at that point, at least I know the money will be used by him for what he thinks he most needs. When it comes to charities doing with my money I know not what, I need to be sure that they espouse my values before I will give them my money. Which makes it difficult to find places to give money to…for our wedding, Alex & chose the following for people to make donations to in our names, if they wanted: Sierra Club, Coalition for Clean Air, Feminist Majority Foundation, Teach for America, & Humane Society. We figured it was a nice gamut for people to choose from while at the same time not offending anyone (I would’ve liked to include Planned Parenthood), but it took us a long time to find that many. I run into the same thing each xmas: I would love to just donate in people’s names, but I need to find a charity that I approve of in addition to finding one that will not offend the receiver…
9 Miko // Dec 6, 2006 at 8:21 am
Elise: I ran across this quote today & thought of you:
10 Elise // Dec 7, 2006 at 3:32 pm
Thanks, Miko!
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