The drama continues. We received a letter from our former Bishop, which suggested, among other things, that we have our names removed from the records of the Church (a sort of voluntary excommunication). I was also encouraged to not publish anything negative about the Church. The irony is that all we’ve wanted from our former leaders is some space to deal with our transition, and they have been unwilling to give us this breathing room.
Jana and I discussed for a long time whether or not to blog about this. Jana has decided not to, mostly because she cares and is hurt by the Bishop’s suggestion. I’ve decided to, partly because my membership matters less to me (it has meaning to me in that it is important to Jana), but mostly because I feel a responsibility to those of you in my community (and you know who you are). Secrecy gives these actions power. Exposing them gives us power. I’ve heard that this sort of action has become more common in the Church, partly to avoid the negative publicity that often surrounds church discipline of vocal dissidents (esp. the big E-word). In all fairness, I think it’s much kinder than holding a ‘disciplinary council.’
I have mixed feelings about this latest request from the bishop. I believe that he’s a good man. I feel that he is doing what he thinks is right. At the same time, I think that he is constrained by the Church institution to exercise what social power he has to limit my expression and to minimize my potential impact on others who are struggling within the Church. I think that this is where our ministries overlap and our interests clash.
I don’t feel any pressure, except from the Bishop, to remove my name from the rolls of the Church. We’re also not feeling any pressure from our Quaker meeting to join any time soon–quite the opposite. Although it’s left to the individual, the general feeling is that potential Quakers should be completely aware of the moral commitment they are entering when joining the Society of Friends, and the process seems to take years for most seekers. My experience of Mormonism is different: I entered Mormonism and even the temple without a knowledge of the sacred temple covenants; as a missionary I was taught to commit potential members to baptism before they learned anything about tithing, Mormon morality and dietary restrictions. Many blacks join the church each year without learning about its almost a century and a half history of denying priesthood and temple blessings to all Saints of African descent.
Speaking of the temple, they’ve also asked me to return my temple recommend (which I can’t seem to find–I may have accidentally returned it to the library as a bookmark…). What’s that all about?
I suspect that I will remove my name from the Church records at some point, but barring disciplinary action, I’ll do it in my own time, considering the feelings of my family members over the urgings of local Church leaders. Jana and I will also extend the option to our children as well, though we’ll encourage them to consider carefully and to take as much time as they’d like to make the choice for themselves.
Have any of you faced the decision to voluntarily ex yourselves? Did it come from your leaders or from your own desires? What factors entered into your choice?
