I’m terrible at meditation. If we were in some kind of Buddhist junior high school, I’d always get picked last for those competitive meditating teams. Jana suspects that I suffer from some kind of attention deficit disorder, but I’ve made my peace with that–add my name to the long line of troubled geniuses afflicted with ADHD.
I should be more specific. My weakness is in sitting meditation. This may seem implausible for someone whose programming career firmly fixes his butt in a chair.
My meditations always have to be aided with something tangible. Sometimes this means a pen and paper (or a keyboard and screen) and stream of consciousness writing. Sometimes I use my juzu (mala) beads and a repeated mantra. Lately it’s been my feet. I really like the idea of walking meditation. It fits my whole pilgrimage theme very well.
I’m particularly interested in doing the 88-temple pilgrimage around the smallest of Japan’s four main islands. White-clad Buddhists have been pacing and praying their way around the 780 mile circuit for over a thousand years now. Actually, most of the 100,000 annual visitors go by car, bus, taxi and/or train–only a thousand or so choose to wear down their soles on the spiritual journey.
From reports that I’ve read, the temples have an ambivalent attitude towards pilgrims. Perhaps the temple visitors are viewed more as customers or consumers than as supplicants. The walking pilgrims, however, are treated with great respect by the people of Shikoku. Locals will give gifts or donations to them, and will sometimes ask them in return to pray for a loved one on their temple visits.
This appeals to me. I would love to be perceived as holy. I would love to consider myself holy. Maybe this is prideful, but I don’t think so. I’ve felt sort of holy and set-apart from the world before, as a Mormon missionary. Not only did many fellow (non-missionary) Mormons really see us as special, I felt like I was a personal extension of God’s presence and purpose in the world. The black name tag and the suit helped to maintain the sense of separateness, and motivated me towards service.
So as I walk now, I step in time to a favorite mantra: arasawa enmei Jizo daibosatsu. If I remember right, it’s used by shamanic healers in northern Japan. I think the meaning of the first part is lost, but the last part refers to the “Bodhisattva Jizo” who is one of the most popular Bodhisattvas in Japan because of his self-sacrificing nature. As I cycle through the mantra, the image of Jizo hovers over me, and I picture myself stepping through the Japanese countryside, wearing a simple robe, Juzu beads in my left hand and jangling walking stick in my right hand. I am sanctified again.
And I realize that I am not special, that we are all holy. And I feel a desire to connect with each individual and to serve each one. Is there any better fruit of meditation?
10 responses so far ↓
1 Miko // May 31, 2006 at 7:23 pm
I agree: there is a labyrinth at one of the cemteries by me that it is my honor to occassionally walk. It helps keep my mind busy on something (one foot, then the other) other than breathing (I generally hyperventilate myself when I try that) and at the same time keep my mind empty (not much to walking but walking).
I’ve also wished I could do the California Missions: they used to be a day’s walk apart, from Baja up to mid-Northern, I think. I’m not certain I’m in the same kind of shape, but I would love to be that kind of a pilgrim. Not to mention the architechture…and yes, the prayer. I may be a former Catholic, but it’s still part of me.
Isn’t Jizu the Bodhisattva of children? Is it the graphic on your top bar with the red scarf?
2 Josh // Jun 1, 2006 at 4:22 pm
I find it easiest to meditate sitting in the shower with water running over my head. Sounds silly, but the white noise and warm water make it really easy to clear my mind.
3 pilgrimgirl // Jun 2, 2006 at 8:41 am
Josh:
I’m a sit-in-the-shower meditator, too. I also like to lay down just after a warm shower to meditate for a few minutes. I feel so warm and peaceful!
My only conflict about shower meditation is that I feel like it wastes water. I wish I could switch my shower head to recirculate the water during the meditation portion of my shower…If I’m ever rich I will put a meditation waterfall in my master bathroom
4 Josh // Jun 2, 2006 at 4:16 pm
I feel bad about the water thing too and cut it short always. If you invent the recirculation switch let me know.
5 Miko // Jun 2, 2006 at 4:58 pm
it’s patented, check it out here. I swear I saw somewhere to buy it about a year ago but I can’t find it now. I’d like it just ’cause I like the feel of the water cascading over my head…maybe it’s meditative. I also like the silence that I get when I float in an empty pool. Just enough concentration on not drowning to keep my mind focused on “nothing”.
6 pilgrimgirl // Jun 3, 2006 at 1:07 pm
Miko: I do the water-floating thing, too. Except that I like to do it completely submerged. I dive down to the deepest part of the pool and let my body hang there. Suspended. Until the need for air causes me to surface (but fortunately I can hold my breath for a really, really long time).
When I do yoga I can sometimes reach a state where I feel like I am floating in water. Where my body is moving ever-so-slightly with the drift of the water current and my breath is soft and deep like the sound of water pressing against my eardrums.
7 Miko // Jun 4, 2006 at 8:33 am
I’ll have to try the deep-pool meditation
8 John // Jun 4, 2006 at 9:31 pm
Miko, my daughter and I walked a simple labyrinth at the local United Congregational Church on Easter weekend. It was made of rope on a carpeted floor, with Easter Lilies and candles at the center. It was a deeply spiritual and satisfying experience for both of us. Do you know of any labyrinths towards OC?
The mission pilgrimage appeals to me too. I’ve thought about trying to walk between 2 or 3 of the Southern California missions. I think Sonoma was at the top of the chain.
And yes, that is a line of Jizos in one of the banner photos! He is the patron of children, travelers, and the sick, I believe.
Josh, I get my best creative thoughts in the shower–I can write entire papers in there. I just need to get me a waterproof laptop…
PG, I get a disconnected feeling when I am actually able to meditate–like my mind floats a few inches above my head, and I’m disconnected–it’s very euphoric.
9 Miko // Aug 27, 2006 at 9:45 pm
John: I don’t know of a labyrinth by you off the top of my head, but I found the one near by from this website.
10 John // Aug 28, 2006 at 3:49 pm
Thanks for the link, Miko–I searched through it and found a few not too far away from here. I shall cook up a post on labyrinths… muhahahahaaha!
Leave a Comment