I am very good at converting mental-emotional stress into physical manifestations. Where other people feel nervous or angry or frustrated, I get night sweats, the runs, or shortness of breath.
Today my therapist suggested that this may be because I don’t have enough manly physical outlets, where I allow the aggressive sexual male in me express itself–hisself. I need to do contact sports with guys and whistle at babes and snap other manly men on their muscular posteriors with wet gym towels.
Don’t get me wrong–at the hormonal level, I’m every bit as manly as the next guy. Only women can make me stand at attention.
Anyhow, I’m not good at this sort of thing. I like hanging out with other wussy friends and talking about ideas and feelings. I don’t speak the manly languages of Football, Auto-Repair and T&A (though I am fluent in GeekSpeak). I drink tea, do yoga, listen to Sarah McLachlan, read Emily Dickinson, and have been known to knit a scarf.
So, this is a new concept, a new challenge, and I’m a bit confused–is this authoritative and valid advice, or is it bullshit? Maybe I’ll beat the snot out of a punching bag. Maybe I’ll talk about my feelings on this blog::
3 responses so far ↓
1 Mosfet // Mar 29, 2005 at 10:05 am
Take up hockey. Nothing says Manly like a good body check.
A true man doesn’t need to say that only women make him stand at attention. Only those unsure of themselves and their masculinity can’t say that Jude Law and David Bowie are teh hotness!
I’d have to go with the advice might make some sense, but leave out the “Manly” garbage. But then it might not make sense, according to a book (can’t remember the title) on anger management, expressing anger is as bad as keeping it pent up, since expressing anger is like an adictive drug that gets worse and worse each time.
I’d personally go with the physical and competitive activities may be good ways to expend energy that might otherwise start to build up and start to feel like innefectiveness, uselessness, an inability to get things done, or just the the feeling of being couped up with nothing rewarding to show for it. It also give the person a sense of reward and accomplishment that work may not be giving. Nothing shows reward like something that is competitive in nature. And reward is even better when its achieved through fun means.
I think I need physical and mental challenges outside of work and home, because without them, I start feeling like I do nothing but work at work, and work at home. And nothing is more frustrating and angering than the idea that your entire life is used up by work.
or maybe you can beat the snot out of a punching bag, while telling it your inner most feelings.
2 john // Apr 20, 2005 at 11:20 am
Ack! Meg left a great comment about Viking raids, and I deleted it while getting rid of Spam…:(
Obviously spammers are to blame for many of our sorrows. I propose a manly excursion against the spammers in the spirit of Viking rapine and plunder!
3 john // Apr 20, 2005 at 11:28 am
It makes sense to me that anger can be damaging when allowed to build up and when expressed towards others. Maybe shrinks are good because they are a neutral party and provide for a safe outlet (unless your anger is directed at the therapist…)
Maybe part of my issue is that I’m not terribly competitive. I don’t like winning at the expense of others. I really enjoy the few games out there where everybody wins by cooperating together–then the competition is against the situation/environment (like rock-climbing).
Now that I think about it though, I don’t think that anger is an issue for me. I’m not a angry person, and don’t hold grudges often. Maybe I need to learn how to get angry? (just kidding!)
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