I’ve been hanging out with a group of liberal Mormon intellectuals lately. I know, I know, you’re thinking, “But John, aren’t ‘Liberal Mormon’ and ‘Mormon Intellectual’ kind of oxymoronic?” (When I mention their existence, people sometimes express doubt and incredulity.) For the first time in a long while, I feel some sense of belonging in a Mormon context. Paradoxically, I’m also feeling greater alienation from the LDS religion.
In case you’re wondering if you are a liberal Mormon, here’s a a little litmus test (we’re assuming that the ‘Mormon’ part is a given):
1) Do you identify more with the pacifist Anti-Nephi-Lehis than with the patriotic Captain Moroni?
2) Would you rather crazy glue sensitive parts of your body together than go to school at BYU?
3) Do you struggle with the idea of Nephi beheading the unconscious Laban (at God’s command)?
4) Do you spend more time reading Sunstone/Dialogue than the Ensign?
5) Is it possible that the blacks not being able to hold the priesthood (until 1978) has less to do with God and more to do with deep-seated human racial biases?
6) Is it possible that the Book of Mormon does not recount a literal history?
7) Do you sometimes cringe when Elder Packer talks? 
Have you ever voted for a non-Republican?
9) Do you think that Caffeine-Free Coke misses the point?
10) Do you expect to find some Hindus, Catholics, Atheists, Muslims, and maybe even a couple of Republicans in heaven?
11) Do you think that gays can make good parents (or spouses)?
If you can answer yes to a handful of these, you’re probably a liberal Mormon. (Jana answered ‘Yes’ to all of them–perhaps she’s had some influence on my transition from “dittohead” (ala Rush Limbaugh) to bona fide Green Party member…)
Well, more tomorrow. It’s getting late…
12 responses so far ↓
1 josh // May 16, 2004 at 9:48 pm
“2) Would you rather crazy glue sensitive parts of your body together than go to school at BYU?”
Because imagine the kind of idiots you would have to interact with!
2 John // May 18, 2004 at 4:16 pm
You mean those in administration?
And don’t all conservative Mos go to BYU, and the liberal ones to the U.? (except for those who made it to the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve, that is) :^P
Seriously, though, can you argue that BYU is a bastion or at least a haven for liberal Mormonism? Or that many liberal Mormons wouldn’t have a hard time at the Y? I’m not saying that some liberal Mos couldn’t go there and have a satisfying experience, but that enough don’t (or perceive that they wouldn’t) to make it a good question for this quiz (half compiled with tongue-in-cheek).
3 Joe // May 18, 2004 at 8:24 pm
I don’t think Josh is trying to argue that BYU is the center for all that is liberal in the universe. But, unless you plan on only surrounding yourself with those that think the same liberal thoughts as you for the rest of your life it really isn’t a big deal to go there. Plus, it is a very large school and if you think about it there are probably far more liberal Mormons at BYU than liberal Mormons at Harvard or Princeton. That and the question smacks of snobishness.
4 John // May 18, 2004 at 11:10 pm
Totally off topic, but it is so weird for me to be having a conversation with identical twins named Joe and Josh, who aren’t my brothers (also identical twins, also named Joe and Josh).
Good food for thought. Thank you for the feedback (you’re prob the only two reading my blog at this point).
I’m trying honestly to understand why Q#2 is so troubling, but I’m having a hard time grasping why it is any more or less offensive than the others (maybe they all are!). I don’t like offending people, but at the same time, I feel like that if one were to poll many liberal or Sunstone-type Mormons, a large percentage would snub BYU–which would fit the survey. To be fair, I think that a lot of liberal Mo’s had wonderful experiences at BYU. Same with the other questions–a lot also aren’t pacifists, many take the BoM very literally, some are great fans of Boyd K.
Among my active but left-leaning LDS friends, the opinion of BYU is definitely mixed. At the risk of simplifying things, I’m going to say that it’s about 50-50, positive v. negative. This includes BYU grads and former lecturers (all active, faithful Mormons, and not rabid anti’s). Some were able to participate in a wonderful liberal community (esp. when Eugene England was there), others point to the constraints on academic freedom in certain areas (LDS history in particular), and the fear that some of their profs had of losing their tenure.
For me personally, I have strong anti-authoritarian tendencies and am willing to take intellectual inquiry on religious topics far beyond what I think BYU or Church leadership would be comfortable with. BYU is not a match for this scholar of religion. But I’m pretty extreme (which is why I ran my survey past Jana before publishing it).
5 john // May 18, 2004 at 11:14 pm
One more thing: most of the Mormons who surround me are quite conservative, and I generally feel pretty out of place among them (truth be told, I feel pretty lonely at Church each week), and, to be fair, I think they feel kind of uncomfortable around me (I also live in Orange County, one of the only areas outside of Utah where Clinton lost to Ross Perot in 1992). The liberals I encounter are like little island havens in a sea of political and religious conservatism.
6 josh // May 19, 2004 at 8:09 am
“…why #2 is so troubling…”
So troubling is VASTLY overstating the case. It is simply annoying. Like Joe said, it smacks of snobbishness. I would be shocked if you didn’t get that my response was, “Hey, I went to BYU, would it really be such a nightmare to have gone to school with me?” Which was, like your survey, half tongue in cheek.
7 John // May 19, 2004 at 8:58 am
ack! there are limits to web text communication…nuances are easy to miss. need more smileys.
ironically, whole post was inspired in part by amishrobot–i tend to be pretty heavy and serious on MoF, and this was sort of an attempt to lighten up. it’s easy to fall of the wagon.
people like you, and amy parkin, and richard holzapfel, and others would make BYU bearable for quirky, challenging types like me. an eclectic coffee shop would help, too. any nearby?
8 amy // May 19, 2004 at 10:13 am
hm… since i’ve been mentioned by name, i’ll talk. even though i should be reading.
i’ll tell you why question two is insulting. it implies that the people at byu are so bad that it’s better to hurt yourself. i take that to mean that they’re so lacking in anything engaging to say that it’s not worth being there. i find that insulting. because it seems to be saying that unless you’re liberal, you’re beneath me. so snobbishness, yes. but it goes beyond that. it’s snobbishness to the point of refusing to even interact with someone else. and that, in my opinion, is a great way to close off opportunities to yourself for knowing the human heart and mind better. so yes. i find number two insulting. for the same reason i find it insulting when some of the ‘conservatives’ i know talk in a similar way about ‘liberals’.
the only reason i didn’t comment on this post in the first place is that i find the whole thing a little that way. no offense john. you’re one of the most open-minded, loving people i know. and i certainly recognized that your tongue was planted in cheek as you wrote that quiz. but still… if liberal mormons as a rule snub byu or conservative mormons as a rule, i’m not interested in being one (though i am interested in knowing them). now, some of you might tell me i’m being a hypocrite because i’ve said my fair share about the problems at byu. however, i wouldn’t snub it or dismiss it as a place where i might be happy (won’t work there, but that has to do witih refusing to politicize my religion, not with academic freedom). i wouldn’t tell anyone that they just shouldn’t go there. and i would openly admit that i am the liberal mormon i am in part because of byu.
so there’s my two bits, hailed by john’s last comment.
9 Old Prof // May 19, 2004 at 11:29 pm
Iíd like a definition of just what this Liberalism consists. Is it to be identified with political, cultural or social norms?
I mean can you be a liberal and a Republican? Are all Democrats automatically Liberal and all liberals automatically Democrats.
“1) Do you identify more with the pacifist Anti-Nephi-Lehis than with the patriotic Captain Moroni?”
A perfectly reasonable, advanced position to take. But this the hawk vs dove position and so easy to take if you donít mind laying down in front of your enemies and let them kill you till they get tired. (Or am I thinking of some other group) But of course you can only take that advanced position once. And while it is a high-minded and admirable position it is not so much liberal as eschatological.
“2) Would you rather crazy glue sensitive parts of your body together than go to school at BYU?”
No. On mature reflection iguess not. I mean no to the crazy glue thingy.
“3) Do you struggle with the idea of Nephi beheading the unconscious Laban (at God’s command)?”
Why not? Nephi did and are we greater than he? Does everything have to be simple or simplistic? It certainly fits the milieu. Are we to impose our values on another culture? How conservative. Fie, fie.
“4) Do you spend more time reading Sunstone/Dialogue than the Ensign?”
Do you in a liberal way conserve your time and not read any of them since one is about as stultifying as the other?
“5) Is it possible that the blacks not being able to hold the priesthood (until 1978) has less to do with God and more to do with deep-seated human racial biases?”
Is it possible that this either/or position smacks of a conservativism that dare not admit its name. For instance is there a possible ambiguity built into the need of God to wait till his children were humane enough that the revelation would not tear the church apart? Did he have to bide his time till the revelation would be accepted as it was with never a ripple and many a sigh of relief? That is, of course church members were racist. The whole society was racist. Lets not be too proud of ourselves. We, as Lincoln said of the slave holders, would be just as they are (were) given the same conditions.
“6) Is it possible that the Book of Mormon does not recount a literal history?”
This certainly is a point of demarcation…
“7) Do you sometimes cringe when Elder Packer talks?”
Who is he? (I sleep-in a lot. Does he speak early in conference? I miss a lot of that)
“8) Have you ever voted for a non-Republican?”
Iíve never voted for a non-Democrat. How conservative of me.
“9) Do you think that Caffeine-Free Coke misses the point?”
Yes. Yes I do. And have you ever asked yourself why everything dietetic has to be diuretic? And why does the new, original Coke taste so nasty. What happened to the original original Coke that I used to love in my conservative way? ìBackward turn backward oh time in your flightîÖ
“10) Do you expect to find some Hindus, Catholics, Atheists, Muslims, and maybe even a couple of Republicans in heaven?”
Well, Ö. Republicans may be pushing it a bit, but Ö.what the heck. (Not Limbaugh though)
“11) Do you think that gays can make good parents (or spouses)?”
To whom? I need more information. I was also going to ask if you thought they could make good children. But then anything is possible today.
Man if you have gone all the way from Limbaugh to Green Party member you have pushed the continuum so far around it almost meets again. The political cognitive dissonance must be causing a disturbance in the force.
10 John // May 20, 2004 at 6:13 am
Hi Old Prof! I’ve heard good anecdotes about you (from Mr. Amish Robot), and am a bit awed that you’ve responded. Thank you for taking the time!
Part of the problem with the fluffy magazine-style personality quiz is that it leaves little room for nuances (unless it is one that is as carefully and scientifically designed as mine…). :^P
You bring up an excellent point concerning defining “liberalism.” The post began as a commentary on the Mormons that I’ve been hanging out with and with whom I feel most comfortable, and I realized that I needed to explain what a “liberal” Mormon is to the world. And I couldn’t. So I tried to narrow down characteristics that seemed to be more common among those who self-identify themselves as “liberal” and that seemed to distinguish them from “conservative” Mos. I occasionally discover Mormons who are theologically liberal and politically conservative and the other way around, but it seems to me that various types of liberalism are more likely to be found together in one package. I’m not sure why this is. But, yes, “liberal” is used very losely, and has as many semantic problems here as it does in purely political discourse.
I tested the survey out on my wife. She answered affirmative to all. (I was actually kind of surprised.)
Re: Limbaugh–>Green Party: I’m idealistic to a flaw. I struggle with living pragmatically in this gray world of ours. Trying to work that all out, though…
Oops–have to get the day started! Ciao!
11 john // May 20, 2004 at 6:28 am
Thanks, Amy, for your 2 cents!
The crazy glue bit was inspired by Wierd Al Yankovic lyrics:
“I’d rather glue my nostrils shut with crazy glue,
than to spend one more minute with you”
There’s more about paper cuts, “cleaning all of the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue” and other delightful imagery.
I think that the problems with survey are endemic with almost any kind of labeling. I readily identify myself as Mormon to people I meet, but I am continually frustrated with the assumptions they make about my beliefs, political approach, etc. Labels and categorization run counter to nuance, fine-tuning, sophistication.
On the BYU thing, when I asked one person in our little circle of friends how they felt about BYU, they responded with a raspberry. BYU apparently evokes strong feelings in people, one way or another…
Ack! Now I’m really running late!
12 Kyle // Dec 12, 2006 at 9:22 am
I would rather crazy glue than go to BYU. Yes, they would both be painful, but crazy glue wouldn’t last 4 years.
9 of 11. I am not liberal, but I guess a very liberal Mormon.
Oh, BTW. Hi.
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