last night pbs aired a documentary called faith and doubt at ground zero. it is a candid and human look into how the massive destruction of human life in the world trade center affected belief in god. a number of people are interviewed, including survivors, family members who lost loved ones in the attacks, and religious leaders based in manhattan. all of the interviews are open and honest–those interviewed were willing to be open about their doubt, their struggles to reconcile their views of a loving and kind god with the great loss of life.

the scene that left the greatest impact on me was a rabbi who treasured some the last words spoken by loved ones on cell phones, left on answering machines: in the documentary, he can be heard chanting: “mommy, the building is on fire. there’s smoke coming through the walls. i can’t breathe. i love you, mommy. goodbye.” and “honey, something terrible is happening. i don’t think i’m going to make it. i love you. take care of the children.” the rabbi, irwin kula, explains, “the real torah, the real wisdom, the real religious tradition, the real experience behind religion, is about love and is about connection and is no more complicated than that.” listen for yourself.

i’m going to close this post with a few quotes from the show, but the show is much more than a string of sound bites–there is much more depth and substance than i can fit in a few sentences. if you are struggling with questions of tragedy and how god fits into your life, if you are willing to face doubt and anger and fear in relation to god and your faith, then it is definitely worth going to the site and reading the interviews and downloading the full transcript.

“religion drove those planes into those buildings.”

“after sept. 11, the face of god was a blank slate for me. god couldn’t be counted on in the way that i thought god could be counted on.”

“a san francisco husband slept through his wife’s call from the world trade center. the tower was burning around her, and she was speaking on her mobile phone. she left her last message to him on the answering machine. a tv station played it to us, while it showed the husband standing there listening. somehow, he was able to bear hearing it again. we heard her tell him through her sobbing that there was no escape for her. the building was on fire and there was no way down the stairs. she was calling to say goodbye.”

“we have to beware, too, of treating sept. 11 as the only and most spectacular event of human cruelty. there have been many, many acts of cruelty, some of them on an even larger scale.”::