i know that this will not be new info for many of you (stop me if you’ve heard this one), but i’m going to share how i proposed to jana. i’ve done some really stupid things in life (voting for perot in ’92 comes to mind), so i’ve got to focus on the few victories i’ve had. i think i did an all right job of proposing to her:

one irvine spring morning many years ago, i stopped by jana’s campus village apartment, roused her (and one of her roommates) from bed, and fed her breakfast. i also gave her a single white rose with a poem about how this rose represented the purity of love we had for each other.

later that day, jana went to her volunteer job at the american cancer society and found a poem about romantic love with a red rose attached to it.

jana picked me after work and we drove down to newport beach to watch the sun set over the pacific ocean. as we approached our favorite bench, we found a bundle of irises with another poem attached to it.

after watching a california sun pour molten copper into the ocean, we hurried back to u.c. irvine to watch a student production of romeo and juliet. the usher stopped us on our way in and handed jana a bouquet of wildflowers, with a few lines about philia, or the love of friendship.

i don’t remember the play very well, but afterwards, my friends and i blindfolded jana and took her to a little promontory that overlooks emerald bay in laguna beach. it was almost midnight. we could hear the waves crashing far below. as we approached the garden at the end of the outcropping, we could see that someone had laid out a tablecloth, candles and a huge vase of daisies (jana’s favorite flower). a stereo was playing our favorite tunes.

as the waltz “let the rest of the world go by” began to play, i began to dance with jana. in the middle of the song, i stepped back, looked into her eyes (i guess i pulled a ring out at this time), pointedly forgot to drop to one knee, and asked, “will you marry me?”

to which jana replied, “you bet!”

then my plans broke down, because i found that we were stranded on the coast miles from home well after midnight. but we didn’t care–i doubt that any troubles could have entered into our self-made paradise at that point.

i can’t express fully how grateful i am that jana agreed to marry me. but i’m going to try, of course.

we’ve been married for over nine years now. what a journey it has been! at times we’ve soared on hidden currents, high above the brilliant clouds, and at other times we’ve flown carefully through treacherous, narrow ravines. we’ve endured exhausting flights, hanging on while looking for places to rest. we’ve pulled ourselves out of near-unstoppable tailspin dives. we’ve found miniature shangri-las in secret valleys hidden from the rest of the world.

this may sound trite, but i consider myself to be the luckiest man alive. i am married to my best friend. we can (and do) talk daily for hours at a time and the conversation never grows old. even the extended moments of silence are comfortable–i am happy to just be in jana’s proximity, even when our attention is focused on other things. jana is one of the most interesting, fascinating people that i have met. no disrespect to the elderly intended here, but there are people in rest homes who have less experience and perspective than jana. i can think of few things that i enjoy more than taking a long road trip with jana as my companion.

jana is an incredible mother. people are always amazed at the will, intelligence, brightness, curiosity, good-naturedness of our children, and i attribute this greatly to jana (i think that much of it is inherent in our children). and in spite of the thankless, time-consuming rigors of being a full-time mom, she has managed to devote countless hours to serving others and to building her own expertise in her chosen fields of study.

jana has taught me more about forgiveness and compassion, two of the spiritual ideals that i aspire to, than any person, sermon or scriptural work. she is helping me to learn to love and accept myself–which is key, if i want to learn to love others unconditionally. jana is my goddess, my savior, my exemplar. she is my isis, my inanna, my aphrodite, my minerva, my kannon, my eve and my mary.

thank you, jana. i lay my love for you upon the altar on this special day::